Accountable Infinity However (Letters to Myself)
30 may 2004
"it's not incest if they're dead"
Ben T. said that this morning, i laughed. and was disgusted, but that is the way of the world. Glynis & i are collecting one-liners, so keep your ears and notebooks open for us. Thanks.
I don't normally have computer access, and i continuously think of many things that i would write on my blog if i did, but now that i'm paying $3 an hour they don't all seem that important. This money for comp time reminds me of Mexico, except that it's drizzly here and Guanajauto only is at 3:00 so you know the siesta is over.
Work at the drive in is fun, greasy, and greasy. I work with many fun, dirty people, and am never stressed. I also never eat too many nachos with too many slushies flavoured with too much pink lemonade sugar. Never. The hours kill me; how i love my sleep.
"what do you have to get up early for? lunch?" ¶ 11:46 0 comments
Ben T. said that this morning, i laughed. and was disgusted, but that is the way of the world. Glynis & i are collecting one-liners, so keep your ears and notebooks open for us. Thanks.
I don't normally have computer access, and i continuously think of many things that i would write on my blog if i did, but now that i'm paying $3 an hour they don't all seem that important. This money for comp time reminds me of Mexico, except that it's drizzly here and Guanajauto only is at 3:00 so you know the siesta is over.
Work at the drive in is fun, greasy, and greasy. I work with many fun, dirty people, and am never stressed. I also never eat too many nachos with too many slushies flavoured with too much pink lemonade sugar. Never. The hours kill me; how i love my sleep.
"what do you have to get up early for? lunch?" ¶ 11:46 0 comments
24 may 2004
roots and wings
This must be known.
I bought Nik & Bekah a large (2 feet tall) red&metal giraffe for their wedding, and Evan & Rachel snuck it in quite deviously. It was done well, with Rachel distracting anyone who might have been paying attention to the piles of presents with a yellow bag, while Evan entered from a side door and placed the giraffe on the other table of presents. No one saw them, not even Elyse & i and we were paying attention.
They loved the giraffe. Nik named it Scott. ¶ 12:06 0 comments
This must be known.
I bought Nik & Bekah a large (2 feet tall) red&metal giraffe for their wedding, and Evan & Rachel snuck it in quite deviously. It was done well, with Rachel distracting anyone who might have been paying attention to the piles of presents with a yellow bag, while Evan entered from a side door and placed the giraffe on the other table of presents. No one saw them, not even Elyse & i and we were paying attention.
They loved the giraffe. Nik named it Scott. ¶ 12:06 0 comments
my mom passed!
¶ 12:05 0 comments
23 may 2004
"all that icing
and all that cake"
Bekah & Nik are married!
My mom is graduated!
Yayyyyyy... well actually that second one might not be true, the truth will be known tomorroww.
I'm at Elyse's, we tried to make Rachel do her homework and now Elyse is trying to get Mike to do his.
ayy.
The Simpsons is better.
My hair is still up from the wedding, in a fabulous updo that i may leave in all summer.
Do you think i can?
¶ 16:22 0 comments
and all that cake"
Bekah & Nik are married!
My mom is graduated!
Yayyyyyy... well actually that second one might not be true, the truth will be known tomorroww.
I'm at Elyse's, we tried to make Rachel do her homework and now Elyse is trying to get Mike to do his.
ayy.
The Simpsons is better.
My hair is still up from the wedding, in a fabulous updo that i may leave in all summer.
Do you think i can?
¶ 16:22 0 comments
19 may 2004
You're My Little Pony!! Sweet and innocent and
happy, you make people want to spew burrito
chunks. Even a Care Bear could kick your ass.
What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
¶ 09:41 0 comments
17 may 2004
i need a new toothbrush
¶ 10:16 1 comments
16 may 2004
you can't tickle the void
Yesterday: surprise bridal shower for Bekah, first day of work, bachlorette party. At AmericInn, near the Gemini DriveIn for all us *working folks.* Today: 3 hours of sleep, Acoustic, and a future walk with my best homeless friend who owns a cell phone, Arian, and my dog Jessi. Jessi does not own a cell phone, and neither do i. If you want to find me at all this summer, you may actually have to plan ahead. Heh.
I don't think i will be writing much on this here-ye blog in the next few weeks, as my computer access is at UWEC, on my mother's account. Oh, i am so devious. She's done on Tuesday, and (assuming she passes this class) she'll graduate next Saturday. The day Nik & Bekah wed, incidently (, assuming they get a marriage license). If she graduates, she doesn't have computer access anymore, and if she fails... we're screwed!
Well, actually i myself am sneaky and know of comp. labs here on campus that don't require a password, but the whole getting myself to campus is a bit of an issue. I'm lazy, see, and i'm thinking about not driving much this summer. Walking here is an hour's adventure.... i'm tired. I slept very little, and aparently it was under a sink.
I'm going to go see Kill Bill tomorow with Elyse & Rachel and whoever else wants to come. Hi, you're invited. i may really like the DriveIn job as i get movies free from the Twin and London, and one guest may accompany me (gratis... free!). I still haven't seen Kill Bill 2, though i had the option last week. Elyse & Glynis haven't seen either 1or2 so we may make a night of it.
I went to Witness for the Prosection Friday, and i liked it. Mary is a phenomenon. Mary is spectacular! Hi Mary! You were good. Zhja, i liked it even though i knew the surprise ending... but a Ben murder is always good. Actually, Ben himself didn't think it turned out well. I don't know if that's 'i was in the production and we did it way better in practise' syndrome, which i myself often catch, or if someone suggested he didn't do well. Honestly, i had never thought of Ben as any sort of actor, and he did his part well. Some scenes were quite long, but i'm not sure how a courtroom scene could be spruced up (except with air fresheners! oh i crack myself up). Hi Donna, you were hot. They should have written a whole other scene devoted to your hotness. To do it justice.
God save the Queen.
"Never, in Kazakstan, are nine deadly boomerangs entering koala-addled houses."
That's my poem, and it did suck. I'd mention the others, as Glynis did indeed write a beautiful one. I'd like to hear it everyday for the rest of my life.
n is like a house! ¶ 13:02 1 comments
Yesterday: surprise bridal shower for Bekah, first day of work, bachlorette party. At AmericInn, near the Gemini DriveIn for all us *working folks.* Today: 3 hours of sleep, Acoustic, and a future walk with my best homeless friend who owns a cell phone, Arian, and my dog Jessi. Jessi does not own a cell phone, and neither do i. If you want to find me at all this summer, you may actually have to plan ahead. Heh.
I don't think i will be writing much on this here-ye blog in the next few weeks, as my computer access is at UWEC, on my mother's account. Oh, i am so devious. She's done on Tuesday, and (assuming she passes this class) she'll graduate next Saturday. The day Nik & Bekah wed, incidently (, assuming they get a marriage license). If she graduates, she doesn't have computer access anymore, and if she fails... we're screwed!
Well, actually i myself am sneaky and know of comp. labs here on campus that don't require a password, but the whole getting myself to campus is a bit of an issue. I'm lazy, see, and i'm thinking about not driving much this summer. Walking here is an hour's adventure.... i'm tired. I slept very little, and aparently it was under a sink.
I'm going to go see Kill Bill tomorow with Elyse & Rachel and whoever else wants to come. Hi, you're invited. i may really like the DriveIn job as i get movies free from the Twin and London, and one guest may accompany me (gratis... free!). I still haven't seen Kill Bill 2, though i had the option last week. Elyse & Glynis haven't seen either 1or2 so we may make a night of it.
I went to Witness for the Prosection Friday, and i liked it. Mary is a phenomenon. Mary is spectacular! Hi Mary! You were good. Zhja, i liked it even though i knew the surprise ending... but a Ben murder is always good. Actually, Ben himself didn't think it turned out well. I don't know if that's 'i was in the production and we did it way better in practise' syndrome, which i myself often catch, or if someone suggested he didn't do well. Honestly, i had never thought of Ben as any sort of actor, and he did his part well. Some scenes were quite long, but i'm not sure how a courtroom scene could be spruced up (except with air fresheners! oh i crack myself up). Hi Donna, you were hot. They should have written a whole other scene devoted to your hotness. To do it justice.
God save the Queen.
"Never, in Kazakstan, are nine deadly boomerangs entering koala-addled houses."
That's my poem, and it did suck. I'd mention the others, as Glynis did indeed write a beautiful one. I'd like to hear it everyday for the rest of my life.
n is like a house! ¶ 13:02 1 comments
14 may 2004
and for you it's true it's true it's true
I'm back in EC, most of ya'll who care already know. It's changed a bit in the mere two-three months i've been gone; Kimmy! painted the livingroom (poorly), a Walgreen's replaced a Heckel's/cheap gas station across the street from the Holiday Inn/Ramada hotel, which also changed hands and names again. Most importantly, Terpstra finally got a new ad. O how i will miss the 20-foot yellowclad Kirks all over town.
Some things, like the stupidity of my dogs, never change. And mud.
I'm super excited for the play, and for the bachlorette party tomorow, and for many other things these next couple of weeks.
I told Justin (madison geophysicist) that i would think of him when he was done with school~because i got done on Tuesday and everyone was envious. Some people still have finals tomoroww. Justin is going to Alaska for research next week, and so i think i have more cause to be envious of him than he has of me.
The Legendary Fluorite Boulder Expedition leaves today, if they haven't left already, with Dave, Miriam, and PGill leading it. Dave found a 5-foot fluorite boulder in southern Illinois, and convinced the department to let him use a school van to go pick it up. TA Miriam is driving, and somebody had better be taking pictures of this. Miriam is moving to Texas this summer, and PGill is going to Spain to do research. The reality that i probably won't see either of them again is damping my mood a wee bit.
But just a wee bit because i'm so excited to see everyone else here.
And it's good to have friends in far off places, because i need more excuses to travel.
Elyse is home, i'm going there now. Yow!
bang bang bang bang ¶ 10:41 0 comments
I'm back in EC, most of ya'll who care already know. It's changed a bit in the mere two-three months i've been gone; Kimmy! painted the livingroom (poorly), a Walgreen's replaced a Heckel's/cheap gas station across the street from the Holiday Inn/Ramada hotel, which also changed hands and names again. Most importantly, Terpstra finally got a new ad. O how i will miss the 20-foot yellowclad Kirks all over town.
Some things, like the stupidity of my dogs, never change. And mud.
I'm super excited for the play, and for the bachlorette party tomorow, and for many other things these next couple of weeks.
I told Justin (madison geophysicist) that i would think of him when he was done with school~because i got done on Tuesday and everyone was envious. Some people still have finals tomoroww. Justin is going to Alaska for research next week, and so i think i have more cause to be envious of him than he has of me.
The Legendary Fluorite Boulder Expedition leaves today, if they haven't left already, with Dave, Miriam, and PGill leading it. Dave found a 5-foot fluorite boulder in southern Illinois, and convinced the department to let him use a school van to go pick it up. TA Miriam is driving, and somebody had better be taking pictures of this. Miriam is moving to Texas this summer, and PGill is going to Spain to do research. The reality that i probably won't see either of them again is damping my mood a wee bit.
But just a wee bit because i'm so excited to see everyone else here.
And it's good to have friends in far off places, because i need more excuses to travel.
Elyse is home, i'm going there now. Yow!
bang bang bang bang ¶ 10:41 0 comments
12 may 2004
peanut butter oatmeal and other unknowns found in fridge
Moving day is such fun. I already packed all my pants, and now would really like to wear some. This predicament amuses Heather greatly, so maybe i'll steal some of her pants. (i am wearing a skirt)
That reminds me--are we ever going to have that no-pants party? I've been waiting and waiting and waiting for it.
Packing is such a fiasco for me. It really shouldn't be.
I won't miss this dorm at all, even though it's real nice and big as far as dorms go, and right on lake Mendota. See, the damn crew team keeps practising at 6.30 am and we can still hear them through closed windows. I'll miss Heather, but i'll probably see her next year anyway and might even live with her again next spring~the apartment i have for fall is just for fall, so i think i'll look into co-ops some more. She's moving into International co-op, and i'm planning on visiting for free food if nothing else. I might miss my thousand dust bunnie lovers, though. Maybe, maybe... nope. I won't.
The semester was good, but it's better to be over. I'm very excited for next fall, between geology club stuff and i know my classes will be good (heh, i almost finished that sentence with 'and rigorous.' I hang out with too many engineers, i do, and they say things like "I have four more tasks to complete" rather than "i have so much stuff to do.) I'm planning a geoclub camping trip for June 11-13, and it seems like it will come together sans hitches. Also, my friend Sepphi (the Swiss with delicious cheeses, mustard and wine) is doing fieldwork along highway 2 from Iron Mountain to the Apostle Islands.
And we all know that the only thing to do that far north is go camping. But as he's an archeologist/anthropologist, camping everyday on the job, i don't think on his weekends off he'll want to be camping some more. So he might come down to see the 'tropolis that is EC.
I have a possible research project at UWEC with prof Shaw. I'm going to go talk to him Friday, but god i felt stupid. I had to look up every other word in his email to me. TEM/SEM/Optical/Chemical investigation of pseudotachylytes, indeed. Okay, i did know about the penokean orogeny, but that's the last exciting (mountainous) thing that happened in Wisconsin. 1.2 billion years ago.
i may just unpack myself some pants.
Aight. See ya'll in the clear water zooooooooone. (if i ever have computer access there, that is.) ¶ 10:21 0 comments
Moving day is such fun. I already packed all my pants, and now would really like to wear some. This predicament amuses Heather greatly, so maybe i'll steal some of her pants. (i am wearing a skirt)
That reminds me--are we ever going to have that no-pants party? I've been waiting and waiting and waiting for it.
Packing is such a fiasco for me. It really shouldn't be.
I won't miss this dorm at all, even though it's real nice and big as far as dorms go, and right on lake Mendota. See, the damn crew team keeps practising at 6.30 am and we can still hear them through closed windows. I'll miss Heather, but i'll probably see her next year anyway and might even live with her again next spring~the apartment i have for fall is just for fall, so i think i'll look into co-ops some more. She's moving into International co-op, and i'm planning on visiting for free food if nothing else. I might miss my thousand dust bunnie lovers, though. Maybe, maybe... nope. I won't.
The semester was good, but it's better to be over. I'm very excited for next fall, between geology club stuff and i know my classes will be good (heh, i almost finished that sentence with 'and rigorous.' I hang out with too many engineers, i do, and they say things like "I have four more tasks to complete" rather than "i have so much stuff to do.) I'm planning a geoclub camping trip for June 11-13, and it seems like it will come together sans hitches. Also, my friend Sepphi (the Swiss with delicious cheeses, mustard and wine) is doing fieldwork along highway 2 from Iron Mountain to the Apostle Islands.
And we all know that the only thing to do that far north is go camping. But as he's an archeologist/anthropologist, camping everyday on the job, i don't think on his weekends off he'll want to be camping some more. So he might come down to see the 'tropolis that is EC.
I have a possible research project at UWEC with prof Shaw. I'm going to go talk to him Friday, but god i felt stupid. I had to look up every other word in his email to me. TEM/SEM/Optical/Chemical investigation of pseudotachylytes, indeed. Okay, i did know about the penokean orogeny, but that's the last exciting (mountainous) thing that happened in Wisconsin. 1.2 billion years ago.
i may just unpack myself some pants.
Aight. See ya'll in the clear water zooooooooone. (if i ever have computer access there, that is.) ¶ 10:21 0 comments
11 may 2004
hmmmmmmmmm
oh man, i am so amused. the ad thing at the top of my page (when i was looking at it) is selling rocks. agates, actually. how pertinent.
to do:
write essay, sleep, pack, turn in essay, go home.
swell.
Assuming my dad doesn't forget me. It's been known to happen. ¶ 22:46 0 comments
oh man, i am so amused. the ad thing at the top of my page (when i was looking at it) is selling rocks. agates, actually. how pertinent.
to do:
write essay, sleep, pack, turn in essay, go home.
swell.
Assuming my dad doesn't forget me. It's been known to happen. ¶ 22:46 0 comments
third time this week
I am surprised by often i get called a hippy. Don't you people know any real hippies?
long hair and flip-flops don't make a hippy, people. Honestly.
i'd like to be a hippy, really i would.
My grandest ambition is to sit around all day and smoke cigars... but nothing else, so perhaps that is why i'm not a hippy. I like hippies, but i can't be one, even though i am 'environmentally conscious.' I am only when it's convienent, and really hope real hippies could do better.
and i'm too young, by a full generation.
¶ 22:05 0 comments
I am surprised by often i get called a hippy. Don't you people know any real hippies?
long hair and flip-flops don't make a hippy, people. Honestly.
i'd like to be a hippy, really i would.
My grandest ambition is to sit around all day and smoke cigars... but nothing else, so perhaps that is why i'm not a hippy. I like hippies, but i can't be one, even though i am 'environmentally conscious.' I am only when it's convienent, and really hope real hippies could do better.
and i'm too young, by a full generation.
¶ 22:05 0 comments
argh. papers.
¶ 21:52 0 comments
"Think you that the rounded rock marked with parallel scratches calls up as much poetry in an ignorant mind as in the mind of a geologist, who knows that over this rock a glacier slid a million years ago? The truth is, that those who have never entered upon scientific pursuits know not a tithe of the poetry by which they are surrounded."
--- Herbert Spencer (1820-1903, Philosopher)
Did anyone else notice the sexism in that long post yesterday? I didn't while i was typing it... but wow. From my own mouth such things do issue.
test minus one hour and 13 minutes.
oh, and labrodorite has schiller luster. i'll ne'er forget. ¶ 09:05 0 comments
--- Herbert Spencer (1820-1903, Philosopher)
Did anyone else notice the sexism in that long post yesterday? I didn't while i was typing it... but wow. From my own mouth such things do issue.
test minus one hour and 13 minutes.
oh, and labrodorite has schiller luster. i'll ne'er forget. ¶ 09:05 0 comments
10 may 2004
Is blogger trying to be livejournal?
Am i suddenly in the deep, deep south?
(there is an ihop in this town) ¶ 14:17 0 comments
Am i suddenly in the deep, deep south?
(there is an ihop in this town) ¶ 14:17 0 comments
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¶ 12:37 0 comments
he's pretty, but can he type?
labrodorite, a feldspar in the plag albite-anorthite series
(see, i learned something)
I'm a day away from the dreaded 203 Minerology/Petrology final and i realize i know nothing. Concepts i'm good at, memorization not so much.
And this is all memorization.
We had a power study session last night, and we're having another tonight. I really, really liked it as it helped a lot (Dave & Sam explain things well, Craig almost asks too many questions, but then in the confusion we realize we've glossed over something important) and it was fun (Ans & Angie are sweet gals). But it would have been nice to have had a study group earlier this semester.
I'm so excited for summer, i cannot even tell you. After this final, i have one more paper to write and then i should finish packing. Working shouldn't be too strenuous, and i have plans for fun things to do. Hopefully GA (Hello UU people, anyone from EC going??) and camping trips with Madison people. And of course, lots of Racy's bumming about and walks in the 'woods' with Jessi.
and murder.
and tea parties.
but not at the same time... usually.
didja like labrodorite? well, here's another (plag) feldspar for you:
yay, albite
(Na2(AlSi3)O8)
Told you, rocks are boring.
(okay, in thin section even plag looks cool)
arrrrrrgggghhh...
must
memorize all
minerology
now.
¶ 08:55 0 comments
labrodorite, a feldspar in the plag albite-anorthite series
(see, i learned something)
I'm a day away from the dreaded 203 Minerology/Petrology final and i realize i know nothing. Concepts i'm good at, memorization not so much.
And this is all memorization.
We had a power study session last night, and we're having another tonight. I really, really liked it as it helped a lot (Dave & Sam explain things well, Craig almost asks too many questions, but then in the confusion we realize we've glossed over something important) and it was fun (Ans & Angie are sweet gals). But it would have been nice to have had a study group earlier this semester.
I'm so excited for summer, i cannot even tell you. After this final, i have one more paper to write and then i should finish packing. Working shouldn't be too strenuous, and i have plans for fun things to do. Hopefully GA (Hello UU people, anyone from EC going??) and camping trips with Madison people. And of course, lots of Racy's bumming about and walks in the 'woods' with Jessi.
and murder.
and tea parties.
but not at the same time... usually.
didja like labrodorite? well, here's another (plag) feldspar for you:
yay, albite
(Na2(AlSi3)O8)
Told you, rocks are boring.
(okay, in thin section even plag looks cool)
arrrrrrgggghhh...
must
memorize all
minerology
now.
¶ 08:55 0 comments
8 may 2004
let the finals begin
i'm ready. (maybe)
Also, i hang out in the law library and i feel smart, but i also begin to think i'm the only person around without a sleek silver laptop and a postdoc fiance.
But that is clearly not the case. ¶ 19:51
i'm ready. (maybe)
Also, i hang out in the law library and i feel smart, but i also begin to think i'm the only person around without a sleek silver laptop and a postdoc fiance.
But that is clearly not the case. ¶ 19:51
7 may 2004
There's a good chance i could go to General Assembly this year. It's June 24-28 in Long Beach, CA, and FUS (a congregation here in Madison) would pay for the plane ticket. I haven't been to California since 1987, an event i do not recall anyway, and i have never been to a big UU conference.
Anne & Lynn Ann (the one who's getting married on the 29th) are going~it would be good time to see Lynn Ann before her and Derrick move to North Carolina or whereever (my own geographical confession: i can't keep the Carolinas/Virginas straight). And, of course, an excellent time to meet many crazy Unitarian Universalists from all over the country.
Rachel, Evan, Ben, Lauren~anyone from EC going to GA this year?
Youth GA ¶ 07:40 0 comments
Anne & Lynn Ann (the one who's getting married on the 29th) are going~it would be good time to see Lynn Ann before her and Derrick move to North Carolina or whereever (my own geographical confession: i can't keep the Carolinas/Virginas straight). And, of course, an excellent time to meet many crazy Unitarian Universalists from all over the country.
Rachel, Evan, Ben, Lauren~anyone from EC going to GA this year?
Youth GA ¶ 07:40 0 comments
6 may 2004
aight, that post
Post as in post office. I like it. I got many marvellous things yesterday, you know who you are. I love you.
Well, i love you all anyway.
I do want a tattoo. It's not going to happen soon, though... my designs aren't that great. Piercings, however. I am on that. Yesh.
I must:
write 2 essays and 6 journal entries
pick up hannah hoch book from art library
read book
write response
study for 2 exams
pack
calm down
you should:
call me. I'm out of phone card time. ¶ 11:46 0 comments
Post as in post office. I like it. I got many marvellous things yesterday, you know who you are. I love you.
Well, i love you all anyway.
I do want a tattoo. It's not going to happen soon, though... my designs aren't that great. Piercings, however. I am on that. Yesh.
I must:
write 2 essays and 6 journal entries
pick up hannah hoch book from art library
read book
write response
study for 2 exams
pack
calm down
you should:
call me. I'm out of phone card time. ¶ 11:46 0 comments
5 may 2004
from the mouth of the phenomenon known as Miriam
"Stop fucking about my rocks. Don't mess with Texas! Who wants doughnuts?"
Now i'm eating a cookie. And WI made milk. ¶ 18:37 0 comments
"Stop fucking about my rocks. Don't mess with Texas! Who wants doughnuts?"
Now i'm eating a cookie. And WI made milk. ¶ 18:37 0 comments
You are "Sweet Sangria!" you're kinda
pissed off... one of the angrier scarlet
songs, nothing wrong with that.... really...
please don't hurt me!
Tori Amos: Which 'Scarlet's Walk' song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
¶ 18:33 0 comments
okay, last post on the 'sarah is unemployed' subject... for this week, anyway.
I never thought i'd be someone to worry about my "career." But since i applied for many jobs that would have been relevant to my curriculum vitae, and got none of them, i found myself unusually stressed.
However.
Bekah came through for me. I'll be working at the Gemini Drive-in this summer, which is spectacular for many reasons, most having to do with Bekah & Chad managing, Glynis & Evan also being employed there, it being within walking/biking distance of my dad's house, and free free free movies. I haven't watched a new movie all semester... and it is weird.
Anyway.
I dread telling my dad. He was very excited about me *doing something useful* with my summer... and i don't think Kimmy! wants me moving back in. Hmpf. ¶ 07:50 0 comments
I never thought i'd be someone to worry about my "career." But since i applied for many jobs that would have been relevant to my curriculum vitae, and got none of them, i found myself unusually stressed.
However.
Bekah came through for me. I'll be working at the Gemini Drive-in this summer, which is spectacular for many reasons, most having to do with Bekah & Chad managing, Glynis & Evan also being employed there, it being within walking/biking distance of my dad's house, and free free free movies. I haven't watched a new movie all semester... and it is weird.
Anyway.
I dread telling my dad. He was very excited about me *doing something useful* with my summer... and i don't think Kimmy! wants me moving back in. Hmpf. ¶ 07:50 0 comments
4 may 2004
I didn't get the job. (shit.)
I've applied for... a million jobs. I got none of them. I can't believe this.
But.
I'll be in Eau Claire this summer... and seeing my friends is better than having enough money for school anyway!
(right? you're happy about this?) ¶ 08:27 0 comments
I've applied for... a million jobs. I got none of them. I can't believe this.
But.
I'll be in Eau Claire this summer... and seeing my friends is better than having enough money for school anyway!
(right? you're happy about this?) ¶ 08:27 0 comments
Yeah really... orange bibles. It's an ugly colour. (maybe it's the cheapest printing fees?)
¶ 08:18 0 comments
Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant!
"May barbarians invade your personal
space!"
You are highly confrontational and possibly in a
bad mood. You would have sworn in this quiz,
if I had made it an option.
Which Weird Latin Phrase Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
¶ 08:16 0 comments
3 may 2004
A singular memory, rendered unlikely in time
(August 2001)
The assembly was boring (the assemblies were always boring), so i went outside. An elder's voice droned on inside as i let the door slam (those doors never slam loud enough) and inadvertantly walked right into a mud puddle. No, not a mud puddle. A field of mud. Damn.
Rochester, Minnesota, is not a beautiful place. The downtown there redeems it slightly; i'm admittedly a sucker for skywalks. The Civic Center (where the aforementioned mountain of suckage was taking place) was built by rich doctors right on the river, and i headed to the dock to rinse my very very dirty very fine shoes.
Rinsing my shoes in the polluted river wasn't working as well as i had hoped. Crouching on the cement dock made me feel better--it's a familiar place. We had come to Rochester for many years by that point, and the dock is prime location to hide from the assembled Witnesses and their preprogramed comments. I felt sick in comparison to my friends who had courage not to come anymore, and i felt sicker for my friends trapped inside. The cement weirds me out, though, like rivers in Japan. Flow forced through narrow channels. I considered going for a long walk, or returning inside. My mom was probably beginning to wonder what was taking me so long in the bathroom.
A girl approached, and she was friendly through her shyness and her unplaceable accent. She just wanted to make sure i was alright. I said something mildly witty (i am not a very witty person) and she laughed easily and loudly, like it was something she wasn't used to doing, like she was checking if it was okay with me (it was; i love easy laughter). She had perfect curly hair, slightly exotic features, and dressed modestly even for a witness.
Her kindness startled me. Forthright. And i have known many kind people. But i knew, if only for that one quality, she would stand alone in my memory. She was different from everyone else in that building--that building housing six or seven thousand of my 'brothers.' She was a recent emmigrant from Afghanistan; still uncertain about her midwestern home. Her nationality wasn't the only unique thing about her; her whole approach was visible from only knowing her for minutes. It was the strongest evidence i have ever seen for a soul. She was used to being afraid of life, but her ebullient vitality shone through dimly, promising everything if polished. She gave unprecedented kindness through accostomed fear.
It was her first assembly just as it was my last.
She was eager to make Witness friends just as i was weary of finding more. It's a matter of perspective, i suppose: coming from the Taliban a lifetime in the Watchtower Society is ultimate freedom, true? But for me, coming from the WS and seeing this secular world, i could not fathom more constraint.
We walked back towards the arena; i desperately wanted to go anywhere else, to capture her in conversation and make her realize that a Jdub life is not the one for someone as gorgeous as her to lead. I should have been daring, but i was not. Logistically (how i do love logistics) it would have been unfair to ask her to consider a way out; some very lucky events and some very kind witnesses had helped her to Minnesota. (Or, conversely, i wanted her to convince me to change my deviant ways. I was tired, then, of being solitary in redemption. It's a long road.)
A sinking feeling when we were inside again. An elder's wife, seated next to a donation box, shushed us. Scolded us. As if we were not two young women who knew our own mynds (and appropriate volumes). I was furious, but mostly with myself. We exchanged congregations, phone numbers, last names (she had beautiful, fluid handwriting, with obvious Arabic tones). I lost the slip of paper immediately.
I believe she is happy. Because what else can i do? It's not a lie to suppose joy can be found within a narrow, closed society. Indeed, it is often the case that it is easier there. My own deliberations prove it enough to me (and Erich Fromm's Escape From Freedom backs it up psychologically). It's odd how subsequent events have all shone through that afternoon; 9/11 and the Afghanistan war; all i could think was at least she got out... but her family is still there. Selfish of me. She liked that i knew, pre-9/11, where Afghanistan was, and nodded appropriately when she told me her region. Which is to say, i was less of an idiot geographically than most Americans, and probably all Witnesses she had yet met.
My wet, mudless shoes squished too loudly under the bleachers, and i got several dissapproving looks. She didn't care, we whispered quietly for a few minutes over the ongoing drone of the speaker. I wondered if she really cared or loved the words he was offering. It was very odd. I knew she liked me though i lacked soothfulness. But i'm not sure if she knew that, there were some major linguistic/cultural boundaries.
In all my years, i have never gone to any Witness and told them why they are wrong. I believe i do this out of respect for them, the life/religion they have consciously choosen.
If my respect is greater than my love, do i really love? (i have my doubts.)
I remember her name only because of its syllabic similarity to my own; Samah.
¶ 11:14 0 comments
(August 2001)
The assembly was boring (the assemblies were always boring), so i went outside. An elder's voice droned on inside as i let the door slam (those doors never slam loud enough) and inadvertantly walked right into a mud puddle. No, not a mud puddle. A field of mud. Damn.
Rochester, Minnesota, is not a beautiful place. The downtown there redeems it slightly; i'm admittedly a sucker for skywalks. The Civic Center (where the aforementioned mountain of suckage was taking place) was built by rich doctors right on the river, and i headed to the dock to rinse my very very dirty very fine shoes.
Rinsing my shoes in the polluted river wasn't working as well as i had hoped. Crouching on the cement dock made me feel better--it's a familiar place. We had come to Rochester for many years by that point, and the dock is prime location to hide from the assembled Witnesses and their preprogramed comments. I felt sick in comparison to my friends who had courage not to come anymore, and i felt sicker for my friends trapped inside. The cement weirds me out, though, like rivers in Japan. Flow forced through narrow channels. I considered going for a long walk, or returning inside. My mom was probably beginning to wonder what was taking me so long in the bathroom.
A girl approached, and she was friendly through her shyness and her unplaceable accent. She just wanted to make sure i was alright. I said something mildly witty (i am not a very witty person) and she laughed easily and loudly, like it was something she wasn't used to doing, like she was checking if it was okay with me (it was; i love easy laughter). She had perfect curly hair, slightly exotic features, and dressed modestly even for a witness.
Her kindness startled me. Forthright. And i have known many kind people. But i knew, if only for that one quality, she would stand alone in my memory. She was different from everyone else in that building--that building housing six or seven thousand of my 'brothers.' She was a recent emmigrant from Afghanistan; still uncertain about her midwestern home. Her nationality wasn't the only unique thing about her; her whole approach was visible from only knowing her for minutes. It was the strongest evidence i have ever seen for a soul. She was used to being afraid of life, but her ebullient vitality shone through dimly, promising everything if polished. She gave unprecedented kindness through accostomed fear.
It was her first assembly just as it was my last.
She was eager to make Witness friends just as i was weary of finding more. It's a matter of perspective, i suppose: coming from the Taliban a lifetime in the Watchtower Society is ultimate freedom, true? But for me, coming from the WS and seeing this secular world, i could not fathom more constraint.
We walked back towards the arena; i desperately wanted to go anywhere else, to capture her in conversation and make her realize that a Jdub life is not the one for someone as gorgeous as her to lead. I should have been daring, but i was not. Logistically (how i do love logistics) it would have been unfair to ask her to consider a way out; some very lucky events and some very kind witnesses had helped her to Minnesota. (Or, conversely, i wanted her to convince me to change my deviant ways. I was tired, then, of being solitary in redemption. It's a long road.)
A sinking feeling when we were inside again. An elder's wife, seated next to a donation box, shushed us. Scolded us. As if we were not two young women who knew our own mynds (and appropriate volumes). I was furious, but mostly with myself. We exchanged congregations, phone numbers, last names (she had beautiful, fluid handwriting, with obvious Arabic tones). I lost the slip of paper immediately.
I believe she is happy. Because what else can i do? It's not a lie to suppose joy can be found within a narrow, closed society. Indeed, it is often the case that it is easier there. My own deliberations prove it enough to me (and Erich Fromm's Escape From Freedom backs it up psychologically). It's odd how subsequent events have all shone through that afternoon; 9/11 and the Afghanistan war; all i could think was at least she got out... but her family is still there. Selfish of me. She liked that i knew, pre-9/11, where Afghanistan was, and nodded appropriately when she told me her region. Which is to say, i was less of an idiot geographically than most Americans, and probably all Witnesses she had yet met.
My wet, mudless shoes squished too loudly under the bleachers, and i got several dissapproving looks. She didn't care, we whispered quietly for a few minutes over the ongoing drone of the speaker. I wondered if she really cared or loved the words he was offering. It was very odd. I knew she liked me though i lacked soothfulness. But i'm not sure if she knew that, there were some major linguistic/cultural boundaries.
In all my years, i have never gone to any Witness and told them why they are wrong. I believe i do this out of respect for them, the life/religion they have consciously choosen.
If my respect is greater than my love, do i really love? (i have my doubts.)
I remember her name only because of its syllabic similarity to my own; Samah.
¶ 11:14 0 comments
2 may 2004
1 may 2004
mayday, mayday... for real this time
Scientific Integrity and Politics....
via Physics Today. ¶ 15:00 0 comments
Scientific Integrity and Politics....
via Physics Today. ¶ 15:00 0 comments
Mayday, mayday
I have done nothing productive today, nor do i plan to. Today is Mifflin block party, which is where all the cool cats are at... but the people i'd know are probably stonecold drunk by now anyway. hmmmmmm....
Yesterday Heather found a tick, a dog wood tick to be specific, and spent hours researching ticks online. She named the tick Walter. Then Walter suffocated in the habitat we made for him (an upturned cup) so we tried to cremate him.
Don't cremate ticks in your dorms, kids. Just some friendly advice from me to you. ¶ 13:59 0 comments
I have done nothing productive today, nor do i plan to. Today is Mifflin block party, which is where all the cool cats are at... but the people i'd know are probably stonecold drunk by now anyway. hmmmmmm....
Yesterday Heather found a tick, a dog wood tick to be specific, and spent hours researching ticks online. She named the tick Walter. Then Walter suffocated in the habitat we made for him (an upturned cup) so we tried to cremate him.
Don't cremate ticks in your dorms, kids. Just some friendly advice from me to you. ¶ 13:59 0 comments
