cosmogenesis conversations and other things

(whoa! the pipes are alive! with vibrations!)

"I like that idea [that we are literally stardust] because it so smoothly explains our affinity for the natural world. I like this rock, and i know we are similar. Except i'm not shiny.... but! you know what? this rock can't play violin!" --Scott--

Hi again Bektalk! i am so glad you're back!
that means i'm internet-famous again
all those pretty pictures of us
and of course, your writings.

A janitor just came in... i guess the library's not squirrel infested. i'm sad as that would have been a better story than this.

It remains, however, a vaguely worrying sound.

chitter chitter chitter... scraaaaaatch...  ¶ 12:08 0 comments

  Yet Another Human  ¶ 15:19 0 comments

  Truth Standards...  ¶ 09:57 0 comments

  "we were rich once
before your head exploded
imagining just what the big bang did"
--the Breeders--  ¶ 06:42 0 comments

  this coffee ain't nuthin'

i am having serious Racy's withdrawl.

So! Halloween! Rachel and/or Donna, you ought to call me!
This is the plan: Ben will be here Saturday, but not at my place until late, and i have a field trip Saturday anyway for a class. So if you guys will be here Friday, we can go elsewhere or do whatever you want to do, but i have to be at school 8am Saturday. Then Saturday night we can hang out until we meet Ben & Mike and then go anywhere you guys want to go. I'm so exicted to see you, and meet other Wausau-people!

This computer's speakers don't work, but for some reason the one across the room is connected, and there is a very odd sound time lag. I usually wouldn't notice, except care2.com recently got theme music... what the hell.  ¶ 11:29 2 comments

  Ultraviolet radiation reaching the ground in Toronto is now increasing at 5 percent per year.
(uh, i'm still voting Vancouver.)  ¶ 20:35 0 comments

  The average carrot travels 1,300 miles before it is consumed.  ¶ 20:03 0 comments

  "Our politics and science have never mastered the fact that people need more than to understand their obligation to one another and to the earth; they need also the feeling of such obligation, and the feeling can come only within the patterns of familiarity. A nation of urban nomads, such as we have become, may simply be unable to be enough disturbed by its destruction of the ecological health of the land, because the people's dependence on the land, though it has been expounded to them over and over again in general terms, is not immediate to their feelings."
--Wendell Berry--

i was just thinking about this today, and i had never seen/read this quote before a few minutes ago. Odd. I was seriously, perhaps half an hour ago, saying how hard restoration work will be for the many of us who grew up urbanized, in an already fully degraded ecosystem. I mean there's barely such thing as praire anymore, and a third of North America used to be it. How do we fix what our parents didn't even know was missing? My god.

three worst ecological disasters in human history (according to my prof):
1. deforestation of the Mediterean Basin
2. erosion in medieval China
3. erosion of the American Great Plains

how many of us, without any special study, even knew Greece had been deforested 2000 years ago? and who among us would know how to resolve that?

Whatever. As Ian so hopefully states, human ingenuity will surely fix it all.

Also, i've been meaning to tell all you EC people that Glen got a job here in Madison, and is actually moving down here next week. So go say hi/bye to him soon.

Status Report:
Morale: high
303 homework: half done
515 labs: a full month behind, but 2/3 managable so unusually good, plus i did some of the reading this weekend
Finances: recovering
Giggling about: e...lectricity & LRYLZMB

"The human mind is a product of the Pleistocene Age, shaped by wildness that has all but disappeared. If we complete the destruction of nature, we will have succeeded in cutting ourselves off from the source of sanity itself."--David Orr--
  ¶ 19:46 0 comments

  retrograde ripples and a film crew

i spent most of the weekend with Amy, Mark, and several other fabulous UU people from as far abroad as Massachusetts, California, Bellingham WA & the conjestion known as Indianapolis for the Prison Reform conference. It was a weird Homecoming weekend as the only time any of us commented on Wisconsin's Victories was to be annoyed at the 'blood clots' when we were driving from point A to point B (get it? Bucky fans in Red? ahhhhhhh.... i laughed at least). I have such great School Spirit. (if anyone cares at all, we won both games. just watch me cartwheel for joy!) As i'm fond of relating, the last time i was at a football game i was wearing a purple beret, carrying a clarinet and not too happy.

My school email isn't working, and it's frusterating me incredibly, because it will tell me that i have 17 unread messages but not actually let me read them. Mom's coming into town today or tomorow, and because my email is down i have no idea when. The problem is, if mom's not coming until tomorow, that right now i have time to stay here (in the geol building) and work or finish labs, but since there's a small chance she's on her way now, i gotta go. Damn it. How a cell phone would benefit me. (ie, if anyone emailed me, try my other account or leave a message here)

I have to say i didn't get as much out of the actual conference as i should have, mostly due to my own dumb fault and a series of events that led me to being incredibly late both days. The most remarkable thing was hearing Bill Schultz speak last night, who is the current President/Leader/whatEV of Amnesty International, and former Presiden/Leader/whatEV of the UUA. I've done so little with AI since leaving Eau Claire, but seeing someone whose words i've always admired in person was good.

You can't be a UU unless you like acronyms and the chaos of modernity.  ¶ 16:44 0 comments

  today i got a test back. i'm not doing so well this semester, but i'll deal with that. one comment on this particular test however really amused me:

what i wrote: 'the extant turbidites were later folded, and stratigraphic upwards can be established by gradual grading of sediment size'

what my TA wrote: 'nice use of SAT vocab!'

i would also like to note repetitiveness and alliteration.

  ¶ 12:09 0 comments

  "and i care enough that i'm mad"

i think that if Bush does win the election, we deserve it. If, as a people, we cannot look past the media and the excuses for war, we deserve to be lied to and we deserve to have the poor among us die. We deserve everything we do not know, and we deserve more of it.

i think that if the environment does come to a breaking point, we deserve it. If, as a people, we cannot look into the science and the raw emotion of disaster, we deserve to lose what we grew within and we deserve to die with it. We deserve it all because we did not care enough when we had it, and we did not how to care enough about it when it began to be lost.

i think that if i die from smoking, i deserve it. If i cannot look past the joy of flame and laminar flow, i deserve to cough and i deserve to die early. I deserve everything i get, and i probably deserve more.

If we are not good enough to change as a nation, as a world, and as i myself, we deserve everything we get. I hope, eternally hope, to see our country and our world and myself give up these things, and begin to deserve something better.

but that's not intrinsic.

i mean, you grow within one theme until you discover another. and one day, what if there's not another to be found?

whoops! end.

"that half the world didn't even know what it could have had"--Ani DiFranco--   ¶ 12:06 4 comments

  Incidently, dear Glynis:
how were you ressurected on a technicality?
i actually really need to know, as my sister killed me the other day.
(see her blog for an explanation, such as it is)  ¶ 20:31 2 comments

  I sent some letters today!

Donna, i promise to learn that your surname has a T in it someday.

Someday! i will do it right!

far to the north  ¶ 14:59 6 comments

  DISTRACTION!

how easily i find you....  ¶ 19:23 0 comments

  Bekah, why did you write
to: Sarah
heart, Ireland
on my whiteboard picture of the Ninja Carrot?
i am still confused... i'm only ~1/4 Irish.
and carrots are more Dutch than Irish, Ninjas are Japanese, and if you want to be technical, carrots are Indian or Persian or Thai or something. I don't even know.

Also! Glynis! Your CDs are in the mail, i am so happy. I like mailing things!   ¶ 12:10 3 comments

  Well! for those of you who don't know

John Edwards will be in Eau Claire today!

go see him! my friends! who still live there!

or rather... right now! hm, i should have posted this much, much earlier.
  ¶ 11:46 1 comments

  These results are ranks from a quiz i took on religion. i did not do this on purpose, but just see how it works:

Your Results: (what most resembles my answers)

1. Neo-Pagan (100%)
2. Unitarian Universalism (95%)
3. Liberal Quakers (93%)
7. Secular Humanism (81%)
8. Taoism (79%)
19. Non-theist (43%)
20. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (32%)
22. Orthodox Judaism (24%)
26. Roman Catholic (20%)
27. Jehovah's Witness (17%)


The Quiz site

uh-huh.  ¶ 23:15 2 comments

  the world is infinently more fascinating without the myth

Hola2Sarah: guess! who i just saw!
Hola2Sarah: someone controversial and famous
Hola2Sarah: and fat
DragynAngelle: Michael Moore!?!?
Hola2Sarah: Yes!
DragynAngelle: Fuck YES!
DragynAngelle: you lucky thing
Hola2Sarah: he gave a speech!
Hola2Sarah: i was late!
DragynAngelle: that's so awesome chica. congrats! what did he say?
Hola2Sarah: oh my, he said, 'Wisconsin: get out & vote!'
DragynAngelle: hehe no shit
Hola2Sarah: support our troops by bringing them home, health care for everyone
Hola2Sarah: he read some letters from troops
Hola2Sarah: he said, 'you know, i KNOW it feels good to vote for Nader. he's a good guy, he's right, you want to be right. but don't vote for him. there are bigger issues this year. this girl in the front row is good, she's probably right on the issues. but she isn't going to win the election either. vote for change.'
(way later)
Hola2Sarah: i just don't get it. seriously, how is anyone better off now?
Hola2Sarah: i can't travel to Morocco ever
DragynAngelle: rich people have more money.
Hola2Sarah: not that i have the money
Hola2Sarah: but, if i did, i could
Hola2Sarah: except now they hate us
DragynAngelle: i'm Canadian, i don't know what you're talking about.

So.

I was talking with Tasha, my lovely consort in unchristian but still very moral crime, and while before i for some odd reason felt very anxious, now i feel a lot better. Yay! I think i associate good, cuddly things like chincillas with her, and i miss my cat. Plus, she's Canada-friendly and hilarious! Yay!

Hm. That paragraph could have been written by any middle schooler with a livejournal. My retrograde ways continue. I just want to express my love for Tasha, that is all. It stands.

More social news, from me!

Bekah, Glynis, Ian & Lawton came to visit me yesterday, we ate pizza and played apples-to-apples. I gave Ian the tour of Madison, ie, the Geology building, at 4 am, and there were still grad students there. We didn't steal any rocks though. I was so happy to see everybody! Plus now Bekah & co. can come visit me again as they have already navigated the labyrinth that is Madison once. This morning i was dreaming that Bekah & i were sneaking a piano into a building, and then she woke me up, and i was very confused as to how & why she was in two places at once. Lawton gave me a magazine, and as i was very tired, i asked "Why is Halle Berry in my hands?" Turns out he knows about my collaging, and gave me the magazine towards that purpose. I love how word travels with you people. You are good to me.

(later again)
DragynAngelle: if god created man in his own image then why do so many christians have gay issues?
Hola2Sarah: that's a good point
DragynAngelle: i have lots of them. i studied the bible purely to rip it apart.
Hola2Sarah: i did that too! (well, not on purpose in round one)

Let's see, today i also attempted to work but the computer was so slow i'm not sure if i'll make them pay me for sitting there and reading or not. i got 3 slides done, which usually would only take maybe 10 minutes. I went to a symposium on Neandertals, which was fairly interesting and only fuels my frusteration at knowing so little about our own evolutionary history. Today the people studying that stuff believe Neandertals didn't exactly 'die out,' rather they were absorbed into the wider human genetic pool. In case you were wondering about your uncle's eyebrows.

Also! i have been told that Susie G. has graduated, and has a job working with mentally disabled adults & she likes it. i really fell out of contact with the older people i knew in highschool, so i love to hear from/about them occaissionally. Tasha & i are planning to visit Azure next time i'm up north!

Sleep, dear sarah. Give it up.

four more years! four more years! two more weeks! two more weeks! and two days.... um, accuracy. okay.


  ¶ 23:00 0 comments

  "not the brightest barrell in the barrel box"--RGE quote, on the subject of a certain friend--

This is hereby a blog entry dedicated to just how cool my sister is. I know that quote/conversation was weeks ago, but i'm still giggling about it, and i knew eventually it must be posted in this lively forum of my own devising.

Gwad, i wish you had done your homework, missy. I'd like to see you too this weekend. Bekah, Glynis, Ian & Lawton aren't here yet, and i don't know exactly what we're up to yet anyway. Today i went with my roommate Bekah to a friend's house and watched an evangelist talk about how Hip Hop is indeed the work of the devil. Interesting, in any case.... Actually! the reason we watched this was a few weeks ago others in her Christian Chorus were watching it, and one of them was posessed by the devil. I'm not kidding, as they all took this quite seriously. I'm still divided on the issue of 'possession' and 'visions,' but in the vein of what you believe to be is true i'll give them the benefit of the doubt. The demon-possession was experienced by a nonbeliever, those few weeks ago, and it evidently changed his life. Or at least reformed him from his former drugged out ways. Actually, as any faithful reader of aforemention forum knows, i think all christians are still on that crack John was smoking, but they can have some good points. Roomie-Bekah fortunately embodies all the good points of christianity, and none of the bad ones, so things have gone smoothly thus far. Think Abbey Lmmrs with curly hair, that's Bekah.

So in Snoop Dogg's autobiography, he confessed to dying, and the devil apeared to him, saying, 'yo! Snoop Dogg! if you give me your soul, i'll send you back to earth and you can be a famous rapper!' and Snoop Dogg said, 'aight, sir, sounds okay to me!' That's why Snoop Dogg is so famous. Mmmmmhmm. Pastor Craig uses this as evidence that Hip Hopp was indeed devised by the devil. Also, Busta Rhymes musta consorted in there too, 'cause he's in commercials, and 'that man's face don't sell nothing!' I rather like Busta Rhymes, you know, as rappers go. I mean, that elephant video was classic, still got the giggles there 'gain. I must be in on that creed of the devil... zjha.

Bryan officially has the longest middle name of anyone i know. Okay, i don't think Otto Aloysius August Emmanuel really is his middle name but picture this: i'm introducing you to Bryan. This is what he says: "I am GERMAN! I mean... I am BRYAN. Bryan Otto Aloysius August Emmanuel the Third! the third! Did i ever tell you about my grandfather? Ceachescu!" I get a giggle just thinking about all the times that has happened. Fun over format, i always say.

um, i forgot how to spell our last name again. Orthography is not my friend, but you are! (Bryan, you're going to have to remind me.)

Aight. Okay, this post wasn't fully dedicated to my sister, and for that i hereby repent. Sendin' up my prayers to the unseen god. yeah.... i will someday fill space with more words on ferrets, ninjas, killing the Whole World (including ourselves for fairness, claro), 'stop Screwing Around!' in Canada, and THOMAS to redeem myself. But deari, you must learn to spell your own luvre's name to be redeemed.

"she likes anime... but GOD! What a BITCH!--RGE, on the subject of another friend-- (emphasize the B in a very innocent tone, you'll see, it was Hilarious)  ¶ 19:41 2 comments

  FINALLY

Kyoto Treaty to be ratified by Russia.

As if we really needed another reason to LOVE RUSSIA.  ¶ 18:36 0 comments

  "and the answer came like a shot in the back/while you were running from your lesson"

It's just about that time again:
to break out the WARNING sign.

(technically... i have no idea why that's common knowledge.)

"It doesn't matter if you're lost when you don't know where you're going"

Oh yes, bumper stickers are so very wise.

"which might explain why years later all you could recall was the terror of the question"--Ani--  ¶ 12:09 0 comments

  Glynis made me do it....

I.e., copy, paste & answer in the comments thingy.

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
7. Describe me in one word.
8. What was your first impression?
9. Do you still think that way about me now?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How well do you know me?
13. When's the last time you saw me?
14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
15. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?  ¶ 09:52 3 comments

  the Geminizzle-drizzle innit completely fa-zizzled out ya-tizzle!

http://www.ecmovies.com/Gemini/

it says it's reopening... donCRY yet, dumplings.

Emplizzles rejoice!  ¶ 09:48 0 comments

  "She ain't no fun! She fell right over!"--Fireside Theatre, courtesy my Prof.--

Missouri unexpectantly didn't suck as i assume all Southern states are wont to do. Friday we went to a lead/zinc/copper mine, and it was very, very cool. I'd never been below ground like that, and as the 6 of us plus 2 employees crowded into the cross-hatched metal elevator (yes, just like in October Sky, except it was pouring rain and i saw nothing Russian) and dropped 1000 feet i felt very, very afraid. The main area below was really odd, all white-washed and complete with little office buildings, but as soon as we were out of that area, it was pitch black with odd tubes and running water everywhere. We got to pick through an area with the copper vein, and i found a great Galena sample (PbS) that made the whole trip worth it. It's so pretty. Someday i will learn how to take digital pictures and show all you fine people.

Then we saw the processing plant, and i held bubbles of Copper+(probablypoisonous)chemicals in my hands, and saw the giant roller/compressor that they squeeze the water out of solid lead with. We also went to an abondoned Iron Quarry, which was bizarre as it was so big the eye just couldn't quite tell how big it was. I have no depth perception, but i'm sure had i fallen in i wouldn't be writing silly stories to you. I'd be rationalizing all the things i did to Thomas 5 years ago to St. Peter instead. And somebody else would be trying to figure out how best to hoist my abondoned flesh up that cliff.

Okay, i'm printing my 303 homework and i think there's a ghost in this lab. Ah!

Saturday we visited Elephant Rocks State Park & some other... state park... ok, i forgot. Yup. There were Volcanology students from Ohio & Missouri Us there, and i was very thankful that my lenient prof. didn't make us map the damn thing. Instead i got to climb on rocks and just marvel at how cool they really are, but unfortunately we didn't go swimming. [NIK:(or Bekah, please tell Nik) I have found the new BEST PLACE IN THE WORLD for CLIFF JUMPING. BONUS: no currents to drown me 1/2 mile downstream! however, no Cheeto Island either.] We camped at the highest point in the Ozarks, to avoid any drunken climbing accidents, and talked about music and *blarg* politics a lot. I'm the youngest of the intrepid 515 Economic Geology group, but due to Random Archeology Student i'm not the most geologically-naive and in fact get to sound smart once in awhile. It was fun. I also learned how to drill in the mine, so next time i'm broke i have a job a'waitin'.

That printer... i am so out of here.

"You can't hold up a tent with what you burnt last night..."  ¶ 18:33 0 comments

  "the good times are killing me...."

Well, i'm off to the Ozarks in about an hour and a half, and i have class in t-minus 4 minutes. Okay. This trip should be interesting, we're seeing a lead/zinc/copper mine in the San Francois Mountains. The copper is weird, apparently, and what's weirder is i had a lot to do for today, did none of it, and have felt no repercussions yet.

I went to a BASE meeting yesterday, i think that's going to be a really good group to be involved in. It's odd, see... talking about sustainability all the time. It's such a hard concept, and so disregarded by our status quo. I don't much like the status quo, or the phrase itself either. Must work on that. I mean, after centuries (or millenia in some cases) of not living sustainably, the shit's hitting the fan, so they say. There's another phrase i hate, yet i have no time to edit this.

So you get to suffer!

Hey Donna~i'll send more luvs lata. I'm a lazy bum, but you know this. I'm thinking of getting a southern twang this weekend, between Missouri and the long car ride with lovely Sarah H., who is from Texas.

Energy Resources! Here i come! The class in which the aged hippy yaps... but he's cool, and i'm convinced i can do the number crunching if i really tried.

"dance all dance hall dance all night..." --Modest Mouse--

  ¶ 12:21 0 comments

  Hi Everyone,
i realize i'm preaching to the choir, but Allison sent me this and it actually is quite interesting. We've all got our pet peeves about the current administration, but a fairly comprehensive list of its acheivements draws a much more detailed picture. Some of this stuff is petty, and some can't exactly be blamed completely on Bush... but still. I bolded the ones i hadn't realized before.

> Subject: George W's Resume
> The White House, USA
> GEORGE W. BUSH

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

I attacked and took over two countries.

I spent the U.S. surplus and bankrupted the US Treasury.

I shattered the record for the biggest annual deficit in history (not easy!).

I set an economic record for the most personal bankruptcies filed in any 12 month period.

I set all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the stock market.

I am the first president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.

I am the first president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.

In my first year in office I set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in US history (tough to beat my dad's, but I did).

After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I presided over the worst security failure in US history.

I set the record for most campaign fund raising trips by any president in US history.

In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their job. I cut unemployment benefits for more out-of-work Americans than any other president in US history.

I set the all-time record for most real estate foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in US history.

I set the record for the fewest press conferences of any president, since the advent of TV.

I signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution
than any other US president in history.

I presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.

I cut health care benefits for war veterans.

I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.

I dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.
I've made my presidency the most secretive and unaccountable of any in US history.
Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history. (The poorest multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her).

I am the first president in US history to have all 50 states of the Union simultaneously struggle against bankruptcy.

I presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud in any market in any country in the history of the world.

I am the first president in US history to order a US attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation, and I did so against the will of the United Nations and the vast majority of the international community.

I have created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States, called the "Bureau of Homeland Security"

I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any other president in US history (Ronnie was tough to beat, but I did it!!).

I am the first president in US history to compel the United Nations to remove the US from the Human Rights Commission.

I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the Elections Monitoring Board. I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential dministration in US history.

I rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.

I withdrew from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.

I am the first president in US history to refuse United Nations election inspectors access during the 2002 US elections.

I am the all-time (US and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations. The biggest lifetime contributor to my campaign, who is also one of my best friends, presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).

I spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US history.

I am the first president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and then lied,saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)

I am the first US president to establish a secret shadow government.

I took the world's sympathy for the US after 9/11,and in less than a year made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).

I am the first US president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.

I changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

I set the all-time record for the number of administration appointees who violated US law by not selling their huge investments in corporations bidding for gov't contracts.

I have removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in US history. In a little over two years I have created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided that the US has seen since the Civil War.

I entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.


RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas
driving record has been erased and is not available). I was AWOL from the
National Guard and deserted the military during time of war.
I refuse to take a drug test or even answer any questions about drug
use.

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my fathers library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading orbankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public
view.
All minutes of meetings of any public
corporation for which I served on the board are sealed in secrecy
and unavailable for public view. Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP)attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

PERSONAL REFERENCES:
For personal references, please speak to my dad or Uncle James Baker (They can be reached in their offices at the Carlyle Group where they are helping to divide up the spoils of the US-Iraq war and plan for the next one).  ¶ 08:34 0 comments

  i just spent an hour making an amazon.com list instead of doing homework...
i am so silly.   ¶ 21:09 0 comments

  "If we can't live among them in their natural order,
we bring them to live among us in our unnatural order."
--Jim Mason--  ¶ 19:39 0 comments

  "i've got my nine nine nine iron in the backseat...."

how far must you go to let yourself fail?
i do grow weary, my achievements
what they are, so much
are so shameful
and not shameful in that "you did not quite do enough"
or shameful in that "you didn't do it quite right"
but shameful in that it is fundamentally wrong
and not for the higher cause

but you see, i have my own higher cause
and if i really believed (retrospectively) i would have theirs too
because once you began to learn
to take what they told you literally
figuratively
but not really figuratively, more historically
(the words are there as they wanted them known)
history, culture, economics, environment, language, literature, agriculture, photography, physics, mythology
in her course she considered each equally
she knew their equality
i could never quite believe
(words like rewards)
but it's okay.

"just in case"~Tori Amos~  ¶ 19:02 0 comments

  "And since that day, our nation has been on a multi-pronged strategy to keep our country safer."

Okay, so i'm stupid and missed the debate last Thursday to eat with my roommate, and as we don't have a tv i didn't feel like traipsing all over Madison in hopes of finding a bar that would have one, though of course it could have been done. Aight.

I know how futile this whole thing is, how in 97% of elections the guy who spends the most money wins, and i know most Americans see something in Bush that somehow makes them feel good. I know my opinions are little, and i know i am young and thus naive, and i know i can't convince everybody.

But i still feel personally wronged by these past few years. I've likened Bush/Cheney to 1984, Brave New World, Animal Farm... i've pointed out that Halliburton/Fox news are owned by the same men... but at every turn it's worse than we could have imagined, even in a distopian novel.

and i never forget Poland. (thanks Conan, via Bekah!)

The thing is that Bush/Cheney/Rice/etcetera don't like America how it was. They have found every plausible way of implementing repression in what could be the world's freest, most forward-looking state.

Mrs. Cheney once said that college education is bad for girls. Not women, mynd you, girls. First, the semantics of that offend me as by the time i'm done with this University nonsense i think i'll qualify as an adult, and second of all: EDUCATION IS GOOD. Education isn't everything, but it is so much, and there is already such a huge problem with poor/disadvantaged/females not being able to attend college, or even decent K-12.

We'll all agree that Saddam is bad... but the facts are he had nothing to do with 9/11. How is that invisiible? How could anyone not know that? God, i know people who get pissed if you think they're German when they're actually Dutch, and then our entire country gets a Afghan Squatter confused with the Iraqi Dictator we helped install? And fund... okay, if you haven't already seen the photos of Rummy & Bush senior shaking hands with Hussein in the 80s, i encourage you to find them.

I was talking with Glen about the election, and besides the theory that Kerry is the Antichrist (which in a roundabout way is a good thing, eiggg), i turned to the fact that because of Bush i almost had to drop out of college. See, i paid for my freshman year of school back in EC myself, and i got $1600 from Pell Grants. $1600 free, just for being me, poor, and in school anyway. Last year, Bush cut national funding for Pell Grants, and the state of Wisconsin was no longer able to give them out. It doesn't even seem like that much money, now, but when i was working at the nursing home and Rocky's, which did come to more than full time for several months, it was the bit that made the difference. And soph. year and this year i got nothing, as federal funding had to be cut somewhere.

Glen laughed at me. "so it is all about the money, huh Sarah?" I didn't come up with an adequate response then, but really. Glen is poorer than myself, through no fault of his own, and in a just state would not have had to join the army and work at Menard's hauling lumber to pay his way. A just state would have given a student like Glen the grants or the loans to pay his way through college, becuase he does know what he wants to do and he does have the talent for it. Someone with the ability to do college has been denied that oppurtunity for several semesters now, and yet i'm the one being greedy? That moment of cruelty should not have been directed at me, it should have been directed at the state that has made our lives such a struggle.

Politicians must win on optimism. Reagon won because he said everything was gonna be great, besides the Iran-thingy. Kerry knows everything will not be great, because he's not an idiot and he knows it will take years to recover from an unjust war, our tarnished image abroad, and of course all the continuing issues here. Bush gains support because of his unrepentent optimism, however illfounded.

Flipflops or Boots? Maturity or Godliness?

How unfair.

(Well, i have many more comments on this subject, but i have class now and must learn some chemistry. Argh, so much you don't even know.)

I'm optimistic, even in the face of reality. But reality must be seen first.

"And that's how best it is to keep the peace."
  ¶ 08:21 2 comments

  "Sarah Eddy! What the FUCK!"-Ian-

"Archeology isn't about raiding tombs, it's about Science. He told me that after killing some Nazis"-Damien- (i think...it might have been Josh)

"Blake will stand for NO debris."-me-

"Why is there a polarbear on the island? Does it have a deep, dark secret?"-Damien-

"I'm sure Canada has lots of... igneous...."-Bekah-

So i went to EC this weekend, and from the above quotes you can tell i went to the hizzouse. 'Sarah! WTF!' is traditional Ian greeting for me when i sneak in the door vampire-like, it all started this summer when i came in at a sad, sad time in his gaming and he screamed that as loud as Ian does scream.

Of course, my quote isn't quite that funny, except that we all enjoy the perils of correct pronounciation. And we watched Lost. As i haven't had a TV in a month, a whole night of hizzouse movies was a bit much sensory overload.

The actual wedding/visitation things that i went north to do weren't all that fun, but in the bargain i got to see Bryan & Bekah, which was phenomanal. Ay, the perils orthography. Just shoot me now. Or get Jorge Hitler on my case, i'm blueeeeee.

"i could agree with you if you finished the sentence...."-me-
"Igneous... formations!"-Bekah-
  ¶ 06:06 0 comments

  "I've got a theory some kid is dreaming, and we're all stuck inside his wacky Broadway nightmare"

Yes, i'm still listening to the Buffy soundtrack. i know i will have to repent of these wicked ways someday, but as for now....

If as only to prove my life is chaos, i am going to EC this weekend after all. My mom's picking me up here at 1, i'll be in Chippewa at 6 for Rindi's wedding. SO. Any & all EC people that read this: call my mom's cell phone today! We'll be returning to Madison tomorroww night, so no late night paratays zen, but tonight & tommorrow for lunch i would love to see any of you.

I have too much to do here. This really is Chaos.
(as soon as i use that word, i am reminded that the actual early Greek definition of Chaos was closer to our word 'void,' and boy ain't that wishful thinking)

Ah! it's October! Happy Birthday AJL!

"or maybe midgets?"  ¶ 07:47 0 comments