16 dic 2002
Today started out... crap. But you already knew that.
I can't go to Kansai, & I'm very, very angry at myself. But I am also very, very excited about *possibly* moving to Bellingham next year that I figure, oh well, at least the decision's made for me? Er, made by my inaction. Oh well.
I got my application & general info about WWU today in the mail, and I had myne daddy look at it. He's like, sure, great school, I can see why'd you like it, but eleven thou a year? Are you kidding? Out of state tuition would be the end of me. So yeah.... money money money. I don't even believe in money & it controls everything. Just like time.
Any- HOOT. I'm thinking I'll be all sneaky & do National Exchange there, and if I like it, ya'know, stay on.... This vunderful idea came from my mother, of all people. But I like it. It fits back into my *official plan* blah blah blah blah I should learn to take life more than a year a time maybe blah blah blah
ANY- HOOT.
Once in awhile life gets excellent.
I spent the day ruminating my future & gluing things together, then worrying about how I have no glue left, when my sister returned from her elite & challenging high school & proceeded to annoy me.
I called Rachel, Sarah, and Elyse, who I didn't even know was in town. All I could talk about was Should I go to Washington? Damn I'm stupid, I wanted to go Japan! Should I just transfer to Madison now? I don't really like Madison! blah blah blah. I feel a little bad, cause Rachel got the whole speal thrice, but it was a relief. Once in awhile, I need to talk.
Sarah & Rachel & Elyse are hilarious. Elyse was positively brimming with stories (& photos) of art school. Sarah is over her breif bout of mono or general body crapness, and Rachel was over her bout of antisocialism. We did the whole Baker's Square, Target, and onward to the dorms, followed by Racy's thing. Talk, talk, talk. Yay!
Sarah once did the world's worst karoke singer. She was Helen Keller. I wish with all my soul to have been there to see it.
Friday we are having our own private ball. Out to dinner, all dressed fancy-like, and go to Arby's. (anyone who is reading my blog & ya'know, actually knows me, is invited. Call me about the time)
I love being a teenage girl. Because all we can talk about is BOYS. bla ba bla bla ba ba BOYS ba ba la la BOYS bla bla bla ba ba BOYS ba ba la la BOYS bla bla bla et cetera... that is all we say. But it is very entertaining in it's own way.
On the subject of love:
I once had a theory, let's call it the triad theory of love. That is, that there are three ways of loving a person, and if you love them all three ways then you really love them.
Way
one: lust
two: like
three: love (sorry about the overlapping of terms, I didn't make up English)
Lust is physical, wanting a person, probably just for their body or the way they make you feel. In Spanish, it's "quierer"; to want. It's only a bad thing when it stands completely alone. It is essential to keep in long- term "real" relationships.
Like is appreciating the person for who they are. It's the love for friends, and family I suppose. It's conversation. It's the thought process of loving someone. It can be controlled. It's aggape love, and phillepe love too. It's the love you feel for animals, the natural world, creation in genearl. It's caring. It's easy to dole out, easy to recieve, but if you give a lot of it, you'll end up hurt if you don't get some back. It's the casual "te amo" in Spanish. I love a lot of people in this sense.
Love love is amore, between souls, and thus the rarest. Hard to control, more likely completely beyond control. Maybe auras whispering to each other? It's the strong "amar" in Spanish.
This is really, really old theory of myne & I'm not sure why I never completed it. Whatever. Too structered, I guess.
Justin says that to love someone, you must first be a whole person yourself. That's why so many people have crap relationships, becasue they "fall in love" before they know themselves. ¶ 22:53
I can't go to Kansai, & I'm very, very angry at myself. But I am also very, very excited about *possibly* moving to Bellingham next year that I figure, oh well, at least the decision's made for me? Er, made by my inaction. Oh well.
I got my application & general info about WWU today in the mail, and I had myne daddy look at it. He's like, sure, great school, I can see why'd you like it, but eleven thou a year? Are you kidding? Out of state tuition would be the end of me. So yeah.... money money money. I don't even believe in money & it controls everything. Just like time.
Any- HOOT. I'm thinking I'll be all sneaky & do National Exchange there, and if I like it, ya'know, stay on.... This vunderful idea came from my mother, of all people. But I like it. It fits back into my *official plan* blah blah blah blah I should learn to take life more than a year a time maybe blah blah blah
ANY- HOOT.
Once in awhile life gets excellent.
I spent the day ruminating my future & gluing things together, then worrying about how I have no glue left, when my sister returned from her elite & challenging high school & proceeded to annoy me.
I called Rachel, Sarah, and Elyse, who I didn't even know was in town. All I could talk about was Should I go to Washington? Damn I'm stupid, I wanted to go Japan! Should I just transfer to Madison now? I don't really like Madison! blah blah blah. I feel a little bad, cause Rachel got the whole speal thrice, but it was a relief. Once in awhile, I need to talk.
Sarah & Rachel & Elyse are hilarious. Elyse was positively brimming with stories (& photos) of art school. Sarah is over her breif bout of mono or general body crapness, and Rachel was over her bout of antisocialism. We did the whole Baker's Square, Target, and onward to the dorms, followed by Racy's thing. Talk, talk, talk. Yay!
Sarah once did the world's worst karoke singer. She was Helen Keller. I wish with all my soul to have been there to see it.
Friday we are having our own private ball. Out to dinner, all dressed fancy-like, and go to Arby's. (anyone who is reading my blog & ya'know, actually knows me, is invited. Call me about the time)
I love being a teenage girl. Because all we can talk about is BOYS. bla ba bla bla ba ba BOYS ba ba la la BOYS bla bla bla ba ba BOYS ba ba la la BOYS bla bla bla et cetera... that is all we say. But it is very entertaining in it's own way.
On the subject of love:
I once had a theory, let's call it the triad theory of love. That is, that there are three ways of loving a person, and if you love them all three ways then you really love them.
Way
one: lust
two: like
three: love (sorry about the overlapping of terms, I didn't make up English)
Lust is physical, wanting a person, probably just for their body or the way they make you feel. In Spanish, it's "quierer"; to want. It's only a bad thing when it stands completely alone. It is essential to keep in long- term "real" relationships.
Like is appreciating the person for who they are. It's the love for friends, and family I suppose. It's conversation. It's the thought process of loving someone. It can be controlled. It's aggape love, and phillepe love too. It's the love you feel for animals, the natural world, creation in genearl. It's caring. It's easy to dole out, easy to recieve, but if you give a lot of it, you'll end up hurt if you don't get some back. It's the casual "te amo" in Spanish. I love a lot of people in this sense.
Love love is amore, between souls, and thus the rarest. Hard to control, more likely completely beyond control. Maybe auras whispering to each other? It's the strong "amar" in Spanish.
This is really, really old theory of myne & I'm not sure why I never completed it. Whatever. Too structered, I guess.
Justin says that to love someone, you must first be a whole person yourself. That's why so many people have crap relationships, becasue they "fall in love" before they know themselves. ¶ 22:53
