19 mar 2008
introductions at a grandparent's funeral
These past few weeks have been about as hectic as humanly possible.
My grandfather Milo died about two weeks ago, but he was 91 and very healthy until very recently. They made me read poetry at the funeral, and after the way my mom's family treated her i have quite the renewed respect for her. Her sister wouldn't even talk to her, and so on... yeah. In any case, meeting her neighbors was pretty awesome. One of them is sending me a video she apparently directed in 1973 involving sledding bunnies and 7 year old cops (now turned accountants in LA?). And we went book & miniature shopping (for me & mom, respectively) and ate at George Webb like twenty times in two weekends, and all in all, got along quite well for our mother/daughter duo.
i haven't talked to my dad since we got kicked out, and it's been almost a month now. RGE's only made a fuss once or twice, so it seems quite possible i could literally go years without his presence/not ever being an issue. (It upsets me in that i didn't want it to be like this, but pretty sure if i matter so little to him, i'm not going to let him matter that much to me.) i even got around to asking Tony that if in the event of marriage, he'd give me away (he said, 'of course!').
This weekend i went to Madison and stayed with Alexis. Adam was suppossed to go, but was sick, but at that point i'd not been to Madison in almost six months so i had to go. i had a lot of fun with Alexis, Steve, Mike, and Elena, and Mike didn't break my legs so i'm not sure what to think about that. Saw Jon, a lot more of Jon than i expected, and it seems he's doing alright. Most of my old bosses were happy to see me, and only gave me the minimum crap about not being in grad school... but what can you do?
Which all brings me around to something i realized the other day: i spend a lot of time embarrassed of things that aren't my fault, and i usually get sad about things that i should get angry about. (i unfortunately decided to be more proactive about this right before seeing Jon, so sort of fought with him over things that really don't matter anymore, and now feel really bad about that.) But in any case, i'm not going to let people make me feel bad about 1. dropping out of school 2. not being friends with certain people or 3. not putting up with Ralph 4. et cetera any fucking more. Thank you for your consideration in this matter.
(is it) easier to forgive the living or the dead? ¶ 07:27
These past few weeks have been about as hectic as humanly possible.
My grandfather Milo died about two weeks ago, but he was 91 and very healthy until very recently. They made me read poetry at the funeral, and after the way my mom's family treated her i have quite the renewed respect for her. Her sister wouldn't even talk to her, and so on... yeah. In any case, meeting her neighbors was pretty awesome. One of them is sending me a video she apparently directed in 1973 involving sledding bunnies and 7 year old cops (now turned accountants in LA?). And we went book & miniature shopping (for me & mom, respectively) and ate at George Webb like twenty times in two weekends, and all in all, got along quite well for our mother/daughter duo.
i haven't talked to my dad since we got kicked out, and it's been almost a month now. RGE's only made a fuss once or twice, so it seems quite possible i could literally go years without his presence/not ever being an issue. (It upsets me in that i didn't want it to be like this, but pretty sure if i matter so little to him, i'm not going to let him matter that much to me.) i even got around to asking Tony that if in the event of marriage, he'd give me away (he said, 'of course!').
This weekend i went to Madison and stayed with Alexis. Adam was suppossed to go, but was sick, but at that point i'd not been to Madison in almost six months so i had to go. i had a lot of fun with Alexis, Steve, Mike, and Elena, and Mike didn't break my legs so i'm not sure what to think about that. Saw Jon, a lot more of Jon than i expected, and it seems he's doing alright. Most of my old bosses were happy to see me, and only gave me the minimum crap about not being in grad school... but what can you do?
Which all brings me around to something i realized the other day: i spend a lot of time embarrassed of things that aren't my fault, and i usually get sad about things that i should get angry about. (i unfortunately decided to be more proactive about this right before seeing Jon, so sort of fought with him over things that really don't matter anymore, and now feel really bad about that.) But in any case, i'm not going to let people make me feel bad about 1. dropping out of school 2. not being friends with certain people or 3. not putting up with Ralph 4. et cetera any fucking more. Thank you for your consideration in this matter.
(is it) easier to forgive the living or the dead? ¶ 07:27
