3 oct 2008
biking in the rain
...literally. And it, of course, put Ani's "Slide" into my head, though i was practically in the opposite of moods from that song. That's right, kids, i was cheerful today and everything! RGE may be rubbing off on me?
It's been a pretty good, if outstandingly boring (with the notable exception of my co-worker Nathan's anti-String Theory Rant, which was probably one the funniest conversations i've ever had), week. Work, other work, applying for jobs, all that jazz, but i got a callback from one that might be okay, and i really can't stress out all the time... i'll get a job eventually, and all will be well. Brenda edited my cover letter, and i'm trying a few different things on the job search, and have more ideas up my sleeve.. to do once i 1. have time during the workday or 2. a fully functional computer (because this one, though its internet is LOVELY, lacks Word/Adobe Reader/et cetera). The boat cleaning job ends next week, and then (2.) shall be in full force. Hells yeah!
--------------------------------------------
So.
i really, really, really miss: Ratchel, Elyse, Tony, Barbie, Dave, Justin O., Shane, Bryan, Donna, Kirk, Damian, Nik, Jon, Johnnie A., Joe M., Joe D., Jason R., Allison, MaRy, my mom, and pretty much everyone i've ever known. i'm horrible at spending this much time alone, but i'm reluctant to call people 1. in the middle of the night back east for no particular reason or 2. for no particular reason in general. Oh well, this week at least, i've managed to keep myself busy enough to not actually freak out when one of those inevitable 'i wish [person X] were here so i could tell them/ask them [random thought Y]' events occurs.
Because:
You know that episode of Buffy, at the end of the second season, where she has to kill Angelus to stop that Apocalypse? Picture the scene if you will:
*general fighting, Angelus corners Buffy*
Angelus: No weapons... no friends... no hope. Take all that away and what's left?
Buffy: Me.
*grabs his sword and fucking clears the floor*
(and if you can't picture the scene, you really ought to watch more Buffy)
So, No money... few friends... no hope. Take all that away and what's left?
Me
Which is: outstandingly creative, fairly intelligent, extremely versatile (really, who else could have a real conversation with everyone from Richard Dawkins to the crack dude on the street corner?), resilient to almost any turmoil (with the obvious exceptions of 1. loneliness and 2. careerlessness), compassionate (and compassion, of course, is the crux of the issue), forgiving (or at least working on that one), decent at science, interested in all sorts of actually interesting things and... stuff. i'm an exceedingly great person in almost every way, and if that's snobbish, whatever. Really? i'm pretty awesome, and i'm at least somewhat aware of my flaws (neediness, overweight, et cetera). As long as i keep in mynd that lack of career does not have to mean lack of purpose and lots of alone time does not mean no one loves me, i'm in a good mood. And staying in a good mood by 1. actively job searching 2. scheming new activities 3. collage (of course) and 4. letting RGE rant about how terribly fabulous every aspect of her life is, and appreciating the amount of joy there can be in the world.
my world will change for me ¶ 22:15
...literally. And it, of course, put Ani's "Slide" into my head, though i was practically in the opposite of moods from that song. That's right, kids, i was cheerful today and everything! RGE may be rubbing off on me?
It's been a pretty good, if outstandingly boring (with the notable exception of my co-worker Nathan's anti-String Theory Rant, which was probably one the funniest conversations i've ever had), week. Work, other work, applying for jobs, all that jazz, but i got a callback from one that might be okay, and i really can't stress out all the time... i'll get a job eventually, and all will be well. Brenda edited my cover letter, and i'm trying a few different things on the job search, and have more ideas up my sleeve.. to do once i 1. have time during the workday or 2. a fully functional computer (because this one, though its internet is LOVELY, lacks Word/Adobe Reader/et cetera). The boat cleaning job ends next week, and then (2.) shall be in full force. Hells yeah!
--------------------------------------------
So.
i really, really, really miss: Ratchel, Elyse, Tony, Barbie, Dave, Justin O., Shane, Bryan, Donna, Kirk, Damian, Nik, Jon, Johnnie A., Joe M., Joe D., Jason R., Allison, MaRy, my mom, and pretty much everyone i've ever known. i'm horrible at spending this much time alone, but i'm reluctant to call people 1. in the middle of the night back east for no particular reason or 2. for no particular reason in general. Oh well, this week at least, i've managed to keep myself busy enough to not actually freak out when one of those inevitable 'i wish [person X] were here so i could tell them/ask them [random thought Y]' events occurs.
Because:
You know that episode of Buffy, at the end of the second season, where she has to kill Angelus to stop that Apocalypse? Picture the scene if you will:
*general fighting, Angelus corners Buffy*
Angelus: No weapons... no friends... no hope. Take all that away and what's left?
Buffy: Me.
*grabs his sword and fucking clears the floor*
(and if you can't picture the scene, you really ought to watch more Buffy)
So, No money... few friends... no hope. Take all that away and what's left?
Me
Which is: outstandingly creative, fairly intelligent, extremely versatile (really, who else could have a real conversation with everyone from Richard Dawkins to the crack dude on the street corner?), resilient to almost any turmoil (with the obvious exceptions of 1. loneliness and 2. careerlessness), compassionate (and compassion, of course, is the crux of the issue), forgiving (or at least working on that one), decent at science, interested in all sorts of actually interesting things and... stuff. i'm an exceedingly great person in almost every way, and if that's snobbish, whatever. Really? i'm pretty awesome, and i'm at least somewhat aware of my flaws (neediness, overweight, et cetera). As long as i keep in mynd that lack of career does not have to mean lack of purpose and lots of alone time does not mean no one loves me, i'm in a good mood. And staying in a good mood by 1. actively job searching 2. scheming new activities 3. collage (of course) and 4. letting RGE rant about how terribly fabulous every aspect of her life is, and appreciating the amount of joy there can be in the world.
my world will change for me ¶ 22:15
