16 dic 2010
This has been the sort of week i can't believe i've lived through.
For three nights, about every half hour or so, i have stood a story up, precariously balanced on pipes slathered with drilling fluid, only able to lean on a large vibrating metal box, to adjust a small splice-valve-thing while being buffeted by winds flowing up a mountain from one side while poisonous vapors steam up my glasses from the other side. (What are these poisonous vapors? Well, methane, ethane, and butane to be specific, but i couldn't be more specific than that because of ice in the line. That's why i had to go to such a place.)
For almost a month, i've 'slept' half a block from the equivalent of a fleet of jackhammers. Been covered with mud and yet without indoor running water.
For two days both of the toilets i can use were out of order due to frozen pipes.
And been basically told i'm a crazy person every time i seek solutions to these things.
While many, many other things are wrong at the moment, i don't even know how to start going into detail. The gas-trap-fumes-windchill-slippery-legs-and-hands-hurting scene, though, epitomizes it all; though the worst of it was three nights of frozen lines, it basically amounted to a straight week of continuous panic. Today there's nothing of that sort, i got the bottoms up sample 15 minutes after waking up, and all day since has been cleaning, breaking down equipment, typing up lists--the easy things i can handle. The things i could handle half asleep and hungry, even. But it's at this point where i can feel stress flowing through my back like it knows something else is about to happen, and it's going to be my fault.
i don't think i'm a crazy person for knowing working nights is unhealthy. i don't think i'm a crazy person for missing my friends. i don't think i'm a crazy person for not knowing the names of different sorts of valves. i don't think i'm a crazy person for thinking a trailer i'm going to be working in for months should have running water. i don't think i'm a crazy person for not knowing the relative registration laws of Texas vs. Pennsylvania. i don't think i'm a crazy person for being proud of both my hometown and my adopted home town. i don't think i'm a crazy person for believing history is a thing that has happened, not just shit we get to make up later. i don't think i'm a crazy person for thinking 84 hour weeks is a bit much. i don't think i'm a crazy person for using my own computer. i don't think i'm a crazy person for having interests worth pursuing in the expanses of free time. i don't think i'm a crazy person for insisting on shutting the door when talking to a mutterer when it's hailing. i don't think i'm a crazy person for not enjoying sexist "jokes." i don't think i'm a crazy person to insist on wearing gloves every time i handle poison.
i think most people in the oilfield are not just crazy, but unnecessarily cruel.
i do think i'm a crazy person for not seeing any way out of this. ¶ 23:08
For three nights, about every half hour or so, i have stood a story up, precariously balanced on pipes slathered with drilling fluid, only able to lean on a large vibrating metal box, to adjust a small splice-valve-thing while being buffeted by winds flowing up a mountain from one side while poisonous vapors steam up my glasses from the other side. (What are these poisonous vapors? Well, methane, ethane, and butane to be specific, but i couldn't be more specific than that because of ice in the line. That's why i had to go to such a place.)
For almost a month, i've 'slept' half a block from the equivalent of a fleet of jackhammers. Been covered with mud and yet without indoor running water.
For two days both of the toilets i can use were out of order due to frozen pipes.
And been basically told i'm a crazy person every time i seek solutions to these things.
While many, many other things are wrong at the moment, i don't even know how to start going into detail. The gas-trap-fumes-windchill-slippery-legs-and-hands-hurting scene, though, epitomizes it all; though the worst of it was three nights of frozen lines, it basically amounted to a straight week of continuous panic. Today there's nothing of that sort, i got the bottoms up sample 15 minutes after waking up, and all day since has been cleaning, breaking down equipment, typing up lists--the easy things i can handle. The things i could handle half asleep and hungry, even. But it's at this point where i can feel stress flowing through my back like it knows something else is about to happen, and it's going to be my fault.
i don't think i'm a crazy person for knowing working nights is unhealthy. i don't think i'm a crazy person for missing my friends. i don't think i'm a crazy person for not knowing the names of different sorts of valves. i don't think i'm a crazy person for thinking a trailer i'm going to be working in for months should have running water. i don't think i'm a crazy person for not knowing the relative registration laws of Texas vs. Pennsylvania. i don't think i'm a crazy person for being proud of both my hometown and my adopted home town. i don't think i'm a crazy person for believing history is a thing that has happened, not just shit we get to make up later. i don't think i'm a crazy person for thinking 84 hour weeks is a bit much. i don't think i'm a crazy person for using my own computer. i don't think i'm a crazy person for having interests worth pursuing in the expanses of free time. i don't think i'm a crazy person for insisting on shutting the door when talking to a mutterer when it's hailing. i don't think i'm a crazy person for not enjoying sexist "jokes." i don't think i'm a crazy person to insist on wearing gloves every time i handle poison.
i think most people in the oilfield are not just crazy, but unnecessarily cruel.
i do think i'm a crazy person for not seeing any way out of this. ¶ 23:08
