Tori concert.... well, yesterday, actually.

Tori is beautiful. I know this from photos I've seen of her. We were pretty far away. But she did have on a crazy dress, and of course played piano like crazy, and of course sang like crazy. Crazy beautiful.

It was good to spend time with Mary & Tony. Mary was in a quiet mood, and I was tired (from not sleeping last night) so I think all I did was talk. I don't have a very good memory when I'm tired, which is why I'm posting this now. When I should be sleeping with Thomas, because he misses me. I stepped on his tail & he still loves me. That's my definition of love right now. Step on the kitty's tail & he still seeks to steal your milk! how sweet!

Anyway.

Tony & I are going to start a commune. We've started designing it. It's beautiful!

Thomas! God! He spilled my milk on the computer. Hm. Now, as well as now quite working a b c, it's going smell bad too.

(I was talking about Tori...)

She played Crucify, oh damn I already forgot the other good ones that made me happy. She didn't play Raspberry Swirl, understandable though, I guess she needs full band for that. Because she didn't write it or anything & can't do it however she damn well pleases just for my satisfaction. Yah. Her new songs (or the ones I didn't recognize) were very good, and now I want her new album so bad. Gonna cry.

She (toriiiiiiiiii) played many, many slow songs, very pretty, very tori, very tiresome when one is tired & annoyed, and we were annoyed because we (naughty word here) people behind us that put gum on Tony's shirt and almost made him cry (not really, he just got more bitter) Too bad the audiance there sucked too. Actually not really, just the one guy right behind us. Er, person. I have no idea. Shannon.

Thomas now wants my lap. Yah whatever.

She had two encores, which was crazy. Crazy crazy, but fun too.

My life goals are:
1) roll my rrrrrrrrrrrrs
2) throw a gun at the eiffel tower
3) move somewhere entirely random, like Romania or Mongolia or the northern shore of lake Bakal
4) see both Tori & Ani in smaller venues with cooler crowds, i.e. when I'm rich & the king, just me & my 11 friends in the little theatre at mhs. or better yet, my bedroom they'd both like it, with the shrines to them & all. that's really creepy, now that I mention it. & my dad, because Neil Young will be there too. Whoa, the dream. Come true!
5) get a sane cat that will still love me

I'm going to sleep now.

hopefully.

P.S. , I'd punch you if you didn't have consumption, in this movie once whoops, rrrrrr, heee.  ¶ 23:56 0 comments

  Tori concert tomarroww.

Tori concert tomarroww.

Tori concert tomarroww.  ¶ 18:01 0 comments

  Jbzz up above!!

There's this great Ani lyrics website, run by some girl, Danah. Now Danah has added a call to action section. Go read it, think about it, do it. I'm so happy this is there.   ¶ 21:46 0 comments

  I learned today that I will never again be someone's sidekick. The peanut gallery may be foolishly cheering this revelation, but it is true, and unfortunate. Being second in command of something great is a position I seem to fall naturally into. I'm good at being the person who just walks through a scene to keep the storyline going, or to make sure the plot makes sense.

I liked being second in command. Not as high profile, high stress as the one in charge, but the real powerhouse of an operation.

I'm mad at the past.  ¶ 20:17 0 comments

  I should have spent the day with Thomas. Cats are way cooler than humans, and my room is way cooler than the area south of Eau Claire.   ¶ 20:09 0 comments

  Happy Thanksgiving all.

What should I do today? I'm thinking of spiting both parents and spending this most scared of holidays with my lover, Thomas.  ¶ 09:16 0 comments

  Sometimes I like to call that higher power Sarah.   ¶ 09:14 0 comments

  Today was one of the best days I have ever lived.

Chris is back in town, for a long while, but I thought it was just for this weekend, so I went to visit him for a little while. Then Sarah & I had a crazy mini collage party, and talked about how hot Tori is. Then I went to Japanese, which I was really not looking forward to.

But class today was different.

First of all, Sensei Yoshimura wasn't really expecting us all to show up. Day before Thanksgiving, y'know? So she declared it a eat Japanese food & get to know each other day. She even brought wild good Pocky. Yum yum. Someday when I live in Japan I'm gonna eat Pocky all day long.

We did an 'introduce yourself' thing, and it was amazingly fun. I learned that Shimanski doesn't like his family, Huehne can draw a wild Gojira turkey, and that Craig can come up with some very interesting if/or/but questions. Good party trick, I guess.

If you had to choose between killing yourself or a nun & a puppy, what would you choose? I dunno, howabout you ceramics boy?

I was last to go, & I said three parts grape, one part whole milk for favorite colour. Yah you know it.

Work was good. I worked with Jenny today, and she's a seniour at MHS, and one of those people I never really thought about in high school. Too shiny, too preppy, too into sports & nothing else. Anyway, she's actually really cool, and she listens to Ani, so she got a thousand & three cool points right there. She's one of my favorite people to work with at OV, if only because most everyone else is stupid. & Stacie was the cook today. I love Stacie, she's one of those people who just wakes up angry & hyper, and spends all day trying to expel energy.

Then I went to Sarah's & watched Moulin Rouge, because that's what we know. I don't think I know anyone who could convincingly play Christian, but Lauren could do Satine, Tony the Duke, Sarah the bodyguard, & my dad as Zidler. Maybe. I'm really glad I've been in a few plays, so I feel like I understand what acting is, because Americans spend so much time watching actors, tv, movies, et cetera, and not many of them have ever done any acting. It adds a lot to the show.

I got the photos I took Monday of Sarah & Tony. Jbzz up above! Hot hot hot hot hot. Not that I really needed photos to prove to me that they're hot hot hot hot. I knew this. But now I can reprove it whenever I forget. When is that? Well, never, but that's not the point. I think the only point here is that they are hot.

I'm actually a little mad about the photos, I screwed up the last roll of film & it didn't turn out. Sarah & I may take more Friday. I want to take more in the studio, that was very fun. Almost makes me want to work in a studio. Not that the average person would be as hot as either Sarah or Tony. Or as damn funny. Or as expressive. Boiling, burning, blistering, ow. So hot.  ¶ 22:49 0 comments

  This will be the coolest post ever. I will save myself from mediocrity.

This will be about Glynis, because she is hot, and extremely cool.

"No none can hold a banjo and not smile"

Glynis is hot. More on the hotness of Glynnis later.   ¶ 08:23 0 comments

  The day you accept mediocrity is the day you die.

SHE
(1983--2002)

She loved Thomas & Sable/Powderpuff,
spilled lots of stuff;
she didn't live long,
where'd she go wrong?

(she's no poet & now ya'll know it)
  ¶ 08:20 0 comments

  Well, Sable/Powderpuff has advanced from typing weird things to making my computer fully self destruct. Because it really needed help with that.

Onward & upward....  ¶ 22:29 0 comments

  Quizás soy yo que es la haunter de los tres.  ¶ 22:22 0 comments

  Well, I've got it. The Balzac, that is. (it's been a goal of myne for awhile to read some Balzac) This scared me, how much I was trying to say this but couldn't find the words. Honore is the man.

"Between the sphere of Specialism and the sphere of Abstraction, and likewise between those spheres and that of Instincivity, we find beings on whom the diverse attributes of the two kingdoms are mingled, producing a mixed nature--the man of genius." (Louis Lambert, #17)

I like this, because he wouldn't see any duality in romanticism (as I define it) and skeptiscism (as I define it), and in fact would say it makes me a genius. I love dead French guys telling me that I'm a genius (as a redefine it).

I think the translator is doing something screwy, though, because not all the passages "flow" too well. I hate reading translations, but I'm not exactly ambitious enough to go learn French just to read the original.

That would be an awesome, albeit pointless, life goal. To read all the greats in their original language. I'm well along the path to glory.   ¶ 22:01 0 comments

  I hate my mother so bad sometimes. I hate myself for hating her, because she really is a good person, and she tries really hard. Too bad the only things she cares about are God, her Babies, and Johnny ("he's a boy" NO SHIT) I'm thinking anyone who refers to herself as "the mommy" when her babies are 19 & 14 has some issues that the children shouldn't be expected to fix.

Today I spent a lot of time with her, in case you couldn't tell.

I love EC for my friends, and I hate it for my family. But it makes so little sense to live in a place with so many ghosts... and phantoms. Though once I leave I'll miss it so bad.  ¶ 21:42 0 comments

  Yesterday was very, very cool. I hung out with Lauren, then took pictures with Sarah & Tony, then went to Alex & Greg's to watch Alex play some video game. I love Lauren, Lauren's house, taking pictures, Sarah, Tony, Alex & Greg.

I also love Spanish because it makes so much more sense than English.

The concept of Love itself is much clearer. In Spanish, "me encanta" a thing, "yo quiero" a person, or "me amo" a person (a lot). They're different, and if you ever said "me amo la camara" or "me encanta a Thomas" people would think you're very silly indeed. The difference between querer & amar is a little more shady, but in my case yo quiero mucho gente, y amo uno o dos. It helps a little, anyway.

Espanoblantes make fun of English by saying, oh, I'm so in love with this sandwich! (with the wrong verb) They think we are very silly to not make the distinction in our language. Then again, I think they are silly for not having different verbs for to hope, to expect, and to wait.

"te quiero, el amor mio" ( I love this line, because back in the day when I couldn't understand Spanish, I thought he was singing "I love you, yellow" he's singing, "I love you, my love" that's lame )  ¶ 12:27 0 comments

  Today as I walked to school it was snowing and it was sunny out. This the best weather ever. Guanajauto is the coolest city in the world because it rains there every day at three, and half the time it is sunny as well. I swear I'm gonna move there some day.

Some day Angeline.

I also signed up for classes today, and I am very happy. I didn't get the English class I wanted, but I got the next best one, intro to environmental health, conservational geology, english acquisition for classroom 1, and spanish 202. I had to get a "preassignment" for spanish & language acquistion, which was weird. Why do they make you sign up for a class twice? They didn't actually check anything. This is 16 credits, so I'm a little worried, but nothing looks as hard as Physics.  ¶ 14:04 0 comments

  "who are shackled there with dread and can only escape into their heads
to find peace in the form of a dream"

ani, I love you. I especially love how you say dream

who cannot love her?

"here's to our last drink of fossil fuels
let us vow to get off of this sauce
shoo away the swarms of commuter planes
and find that train ticket we lost
cuz once upon a time the line followed the river
and peeked into all the backyards
and the laundry was waving
the graffiti was teasing us
from brick walls and bridges
we were rolling over ridges
through valleys
under stars
i dream of touring like duke ellington
in my own railroad car
i dream of waiting on the tall blonde wooden benches
in a grand station aglow with grace
and then standing out on the platform
and feeling the air on my face"

damn, I love these kind of song-poem things she does. Oh Gbzz up above.

  ¶ 20:47 0 comments

  Thomas has given up on paralyzing my arm, now he's gone for the neck. I mean he's sitting half on my neck, half on the back of the chair. I have no natural defenses.   ¶ 20:35 0 comments

  How can you have cookies in a script box? I wish I knew something about computers so my blog wouldn't attempt suicide so much.  ¶ 20:26 0 comments

  There's a pump on the floor, with water in it, and Thomas is drinking from it. I have no idea why it is there, and it vaguely frightens me. Sable was licking the windex bottle earlier, and all I can think, is man, my cats are on the fast track to hell. I love them so much.  ¶ 20:24 0 comments

  "you're beautiful, that's for sure, more than you'll ever ever know" ~n.f.~

Today nothing at all happened. It was an overly succesful lazy day. I went to breakfast at Fanny Hill with my mother, and I realize that I don't really like fancy restaurants at all. I'd rather stay in than eat somewhere expensive. The Bread Box is maybe more my style.

Then I read books for a long time, and some poems I actually really love. I've never really liked poetry before, but I thought, what the heck, this looks interesting.

The best thing that happened all day is I got my Physics grade, and I may be alright. This amazes me so much I'm gonna do cartwheels down the highway.

I hate myself for using that phrase. Oh, it fit so well.

Then I worked. I don't really hate Faron too much today, so it was alright. And Nik worked, but not really anyone else cool. Rocky's is a whole different world with Sarah Heart around, or even Lindsey or Meldahl or Nicole.

Y todavia, hay tres. Creo que esto es un obsesion.  ¶ 19:43 0 comments

  lacunae present  ¶ 21:33 0 comments

  Half the people in the world I normally feel like talking to are at Blake's, and I could not stand to be there.

I don't know what my problem is.

Maybe I was so fine with the world yesterday that I just have to hate it more than usual today.

I suck at pictionary, cranium, and whatever other games we were playing and hate them.

I do, however, really like Upright Citizen's Brigade & would have been fine with watching that for a few more days. That was defiently the highlight of the day.

Y, todavia, hay tres. Y el tercer no es Dios.  ¶ 21:31 0 comments

  En mi cabeza hay... tres. Tres de como? Cual tres? Yo se la respuesta... pero no quiero ir alli.

Necisito ir alli, o necesito hacer algo.

Y tambien, me extrano a Elyse. Llamaba a ella cada dia esta semana, pero no he hablado con ella. Que es la problema??  ¶ 13:24 0 comments

  How wrong is it that my mynd categorizes things, subcategorizes them, ad infintum? Is this a cultural thing, or universal? Does anyone else see it as a problem??  ¶ 09:40 0 comments

  Blake's Bday party is in a few hours. I guess I better go work on his present. See a bunch of you there!  ¶ 09:36 0 comments

  ZAANjhj''' Sable typed that. Enjoy.

So.

Last night I went to see Election with Tony, Greg, Evan, Sam, Rebecca, & Ashley, and afterwards we came back to my house to play Pictionary, but I am morally (ethically?) opposed to playing in English. (Actually I suck at it a lot, but in Spanish everybody sucks more than normal, and trying to spit out grape in Spanish when you totally knew that word yesterday is great. Or atomic bomb. Why the hell is that a pictionary en espanol word anyway? I think Erin ended up drawing dead Japanese before anyone got it, (such bad taste) but they did finally understand. Not that anyone in Span 5 knew the word for "atomic bomb") So we didn't actually play Pictionary. We discovered the magical Secret Dungeon instead! Because it is magical.  ¶ 09:29 0 comments

  I'm trying to register for classes but it won't let me. This is making me very angry.

I think I failed the Physics test this morning. This is not a good thing.

I have to go take more landscape photos. This will make Jessie happy.  ¶ 11:37 0 comments

  Okay: my own googlism:

Bekah has too much spare time.  ¶ 14:59 0 comments

  phase

i'll be your biggest fan
i will be your fool
i'll be your exception
to whatever the rule
an i ain't the type to bitch
i ain't the type to cry
i'll sit at your red light and wait
for your shit to go by
and this vague little smile
is my all-purpose expression
the meaning of which
i will leave to your discretion

my distraction's my defense
against a lack of inspiration
against a slow leak deflation
the further the horizon
the more it holds my gaze
and the foreground's out of focus
but you know i kinda hope it's
just a phase

i've been through and through this
i know just how it goes
you'll have no idea
you'll have no need to know
cuz i will make your body
grow wings and take flight
i will erase sound
i will erase light
and this vague little smile
is my all-purpose expression
the meaning of which
i'll leave to your discretion

my distraction's my defense
against a lack of inspiration
against a slow leak deflation
the further the horizon
the more it holds my gaze
and the foreground's out of focus
but you know i kinda hope it's
just a phase

~ani~

She performed this at the concert, and I had the tune in my head for a few days, though I have forgotten it now. But at least now I know the words!
  ¶ 14:23 0 comments

  So my dad's new girlfriend, Kim, really really in a bad way wants to move in with us. First thought, bloody hell, not this again (she has two kids, multiple animals... and an affection for country music.) Second thought: sure, daddy, provided that you pay for me to move out. So there is a chance.   ¶ 14:07 0 comments

  If I could just hear your pretty voice I don't think I'd have to sing at all
no
I wouldn't have to sing at all  ¶ 14:03 0 comments

  Who rewrites history more: the skeptic or the romantic?  ¶ 14:49 0 comments

  MOST HOLY.

My mind is so frazzled. The cord of sanity can rarely be so thin. I have so freaking much to do.

Oh god.

In good news, I got my acceptance letter to Kansai Gaidai today. Oh, but NOT REALLY. They said, sure, probably, we'll just go over your transcript at the end of this semester. But probably.

Provided I get a 3.0 or better.

Not hard, you say? I'd normally agree except for the fact I'm failing Physics.

Damn.

Again, so much to do, so little motivation. I suppose the prospect that if I don't do well in Physics I'm doomed to stay in EC next year is about the best incentive I'm going to get.

But I am really beginning to think I'm just too stupid for that class.

My dad is already planning a trip for himself & rachel to visit me next year. Dammnit. I better BE SOMEWHERE.  ¶ 14:47 0 comments

  ILikeJuce: oh and i LOVE eau claire and themidwest
ILikeJuce: you think rong
ILikeJuce: eau claire has verry good watter and that is important to me
Hola2Sarah: It is certainly important.... though by that theory northern Chile is the place for you. Prettiest lakes in the world. Or Eastern russia, Lake Bakal. Purest lake in the world.
ILikeJuce: no no
ILikeJuce: drinking watter
ILikeJuce: and amarican government
Hola2Sarah: that's the point. lakes so pure you can drink from it
ILikeJuce: yeah i pee in lakes and i dont drink out of my toilet
Hola2Sarah: uh. can I quote you on that?
ILikeJuce: yeah
ILikeJuce: you can even add caps and fix the fucking spelling if your anal rentenive self so disers

Um, I'm tired, but this really struck me as funny. From now on, instead of desires, I'm going to say disers.   ¶ 22:59 0 comments

  Today at work Sarah & I sung a bit of Ani's Roll with it. It was about the coolest thing I've ever done.

'She says my ass hurts when I sit down/she says my feet hurt when I'm standing around/I think my body is as restless as my mynd/I don't think I can roll with it this time

She packed his uniforms & drove him to the base/she was crying all the way the world looked her in the face/and said roll with it baby, and make it your career/keep the homefires burning till America is in the clear

the mainstream is so polluted with lies/once you get wet, it's so hard to get dry/we're all taught how to justify/history/as it passes by

and it's your world/that comes crashing down/when the big boys decide to throw their weight around

but just roll with it baby/make it your career/keep the home fires burning/till america is in the clear

what if the enemy/isn't in a distant land?/what if the enemy lies behind/the voice of command/the sound of war/is a child's cry/behind tinted window/they just drive by

and all that I know/is that those who are going to be killed/aren't those who preside/upon capital hill/I told him, don't fill the front lines/of their war/those assholes aren't worth dying for
and he said

Roll with it baby
and make it your career
keep the homefires burning
till america is in the clear

roll with it baby, make it your career, keep the homefires burning, till america is in the clear,
roll with it baby, make it your career, keep the homefires burning, till america is in the clear,
i don't think I can roll with it this time, no I'm not gonna roll with it this time...'

~ani~

Quiet Kira, yup, that's me.

Sidenote: How the hell did Nik decide I'm an America hater? Okay, he's joking. But it's not just him. Everyone thinks I'm some anti patriot, all against whatever it is America stands for. Um, yeah, marketing. That's a real winner, I'd bet if we just SOLD ourselves better, everyone would love us.   ¶ 22:56 0 comments

  I'm two days into The Holy & it's confusing the hell out of me. (by Daniel Quinn, I finally broke down & bought the hardcover copy of it, becuase if it gets even a third of the abuse my first copy of Ishmael got, it's worth it.)

All I want to do is finish that damn book. DQ is so intent on letting the point make itself, to let every freaking reader figure it out befores he reveals himself. I don't freaking care about the storytelling! What's the moral of the story?? What's the point??

Ah. Goddammit.  ¶ 22:30 0 comments

  Gotta do my physics, although I have not yet found my physics book.

Danger!  ¶ 11:07 0 comments

  In my dreams last night:
Lauren & I decide to take a road trip to Washington, District of Columbia, and whilst sitting on the mall lawn, decide what a fine time to go for a swim! So we're frolicking in the reflection pool, acting out the scene from Forest Gump over and over with increasingly heavy southern accents (Jenny! Forest! run towards each other), when suddenly Lauren says, "you know what I miss? Jean-Paul" which she says with a French accent. I nod & say, "I miss Tony's tophat" Then Lauren drives us back to Wisconsin & I do my physics homework in the car.   ¶ 11:03 0 comments

  I lost my Physics book sometime this weekend & didn't do my homework for today. Not a good way to start the week.

My sister woke me up this morning by putting Frankie on my face. Yum. Ferret feet! Not a good way to start the day.  ¶ 10:58 0 comments

  Mmmm mm good. I just read Lauren's blog, and she is as funny in writing as she is in real life. Though not as cute, but nothing artificial could be as cute as wee lil Lauren is everyday.  ¶ 19:36 0 comments

  ~lo quiero pero mi ame tiene miedo~

tengo canciones de christina aguilera en mi cabeza. ay de mi. ai.   ¶ 19:31 0 comments

  Yesterday & today I went to see the play. Corpus bones, I know some good actors.

(side note: my sister just said "sensei is a much bigger jerk" than mrs. hildebrandt. struck me as funny. she also likes mrs. scholze but not her teaching. Now she's saying "apparently the kids don't like mr. Urtz" Urtz???? oh, you mean Ut. Ah.)

Sarah was crazy good. As a crazy! A rich lesbian crazy with espionage in her blood! Tony was crazy good becoming crazy. The number of ciggarettes was a nice touch. (and the jumping while knifing Nikki) Schauffer was hilarious. But he really is a comic. The surprises were Kyle as gay singer & Brian as a German sabateur. Surprising because Kyle never struck me as a gay anything, but he does the hand & oh, honey, let's see! ah! so well. & Brian, I always thought he'd be a good actor, but haven't seen him in anything. Bethany is especially talented. I'm amazed at how different her characters are in each play & yet how well she pulls it off. Wow.

Britania was way good too. It was weird, becuase she's the only one in the play I don't know.

Rachel R. gets cool points for getting all the jokes the first time & laughing loud enough for everybody. Gus gets cool points for being the mystery killer in the beginning. That's the one part I don't get. Who was she supposed to be?

My sister, of course, did a fine job pushing around a bookcase.

Tommarroww I declare another "sit around border's for hours" day. If you want to find me, you know where to look.  ¶ 19:19 0 comments

  Unbridled joy, boundless enthusiastism, checked caution.

I just resurface and there you are. (ani)

You are there; I resurface.

in my dreams, last night:
I am in Cordoba, walking along narrow sidewalks, but instead of Elyse & Gus & Erin, I am with Sarah & MaryBeth & some boy. The fact that I can't remember what boy it was really bothers me. Because it is the point of the dream. The streets themselves are exactly the same, but there are no other people around, and even the cheap plastic chairs in front of the cafes are missing. We're walking, and I see the sign "Calle de Triunfo" (true story, when I saw that sign in Cordoba it struck me as incredibly funny. Can't say why, cause it's not funny at all. My Spain Co. told me so.) But in the dream, MaryBeth yells at me, "how the hell could you find that funny??" Well, I dunno. Just did, 'spose. And she runs away, & Sarah throws a carrot at her. Then the boy is all, "actually, Sarah, it is really funny." What a special moment....

I feel like I've spent my whole life at OV. This is really too bad, as I've only worked there 2 months. I'm seeing colours, and I identify them as one part orange juice two parts thickened apple, or slightly darker than decaf coffee. Hm. Well, the prettiest is certainly three parts grape juice & one part whole milk. From now on that's what I'll say when asked my favorite colour.  ¶ 22:40 0 comments

  Okay, good story guys. Sable the kitty just jumped on the keyboard! And the computer beeped! No, not the speakers, the actual computer! Not the modem sounds either. Crazy like the wolf, my cat + computer is. It scared Sable so bad she turned white. You gotta see this. I'm gonna rename her Snowball & hope she doesn't knaw off my shins in the night. Not that I'm really particular about my shins, but that Snowball (Sable) + shins probably does not equal an inventive new cure for shin splints. Oh, I see her eyes glowing from the dark recesses of the room (all of them) I am so afraid.   ¶ 22:48 0 comments

  It's Saturday morning, but really late Friday night. Though I'm not sure if this is true, because my hands smell like bleach instead of fish & old people. That's normally how I know the weekend has started.

I bet tommarroww I'll get to smell like chili & old people! Yay! Saturdays are good too, always weird hardcore meat. Ewwwww. (if tommarroww ever comes, Lauren)

Hmm, sorry about some of that last stuff. I do so many things out of character these days I forget what my character is.

Now I have to move. And make Thomas cry....  ¶ 22:44 0 comments

  Sometimes I am asked questions I can't answer without rehearsing them.

Is a rehearsed answer an honest answer?  ¶ 22:36 0 comments

  What is the most important question of the ages??

If we knew the question, could we answer it? More importantly, could we live by it?

The JWs, and many other religious groups, pose the question, Is there a God who really cares about us? Once given a belief in God, they ask, what is God's purpose for mankind? What can we do to serve God?

While the JWs (and other fundamentalists) have come up with some pretty skewed responses to these ridiculous questions, I gotta hand it to them. They really try to live by the answers they've created for themselves. I wonder, whence I get a good answer, will I reply in kind??

The cardinal sin of the ages is waking someone from a deep slumber (a fundamental truth, by me). Would the cardinal question of the ages be to determine how much sleep everyone should get? No, too silly....

The question most frequently asked is, what's the meaning of it all?? I find this question somewhat beside the point. Does it really matter if "it all" has a meaning? If it doesn't, why worry about it? Shouldn't you just be a good person anyway?

Given no belief in God, I don't see a "meaning to it all". "It all" didn't come about by divine direction, it came about by a quite fortuitious turn in some laws of science; but this shouldn't mean that we take life completely devoid of meaning. (The meaning we get is the meaning we give?? The worth of it all is determined by our worth??)

Life may have come about by random chance. Or maybe by God. Or maybe by some wonderous golden orb of intelligence that we simple humans couldn't possibly comprehend. (from time before time, till time after time) Any which way, shouldn't life command some respect? Some sympathy? Some worth? I'd think so even more so if some Biblical God made it all. I don't understand Christians who let the environment take a backseat to anything but their faith. If I was faithful, the environment would be an integral part of that faith.

(maybe the cardinal question of the ages is how much cheese whiz can I eat before turning yellow? or how high can Thomas really jump? or maybe it's a tongue twister in Romanian, best said with a Greek accent)

Philosophers for generations have pondered such accounts, (especially the romanian tongue twister) So what? The majority of people now know more about Christina's orangeness or Britney's dance moves or Eminem's rhymes or Bush's... actually they don't. But I'm not gonna get started on King George. Philosophy sometimes seems like a cop out, an excuse to excuse oneself from real action. Memes change the world, yes, but how long does it take a meme to be world known? Aristotle was brilliant, yes, but he caused so much harm for two millenia. Descartes was a product of his age, but while his age was well packaged, it was false advertising. His legacy lives more than any other Philosopher.

"I think, therefore I am"

Someone should have punched him in the arm. Or rescued him from his backroads oven. Well, duh, you're thinking. Well, duh, you are. How does this help me? How does this help poor baby Sally who's gonna die of luekemia?

Doubters live an age of doubt, times of doubt breed doubters.

"I need something real, I can think & say & see" ~ ani ~ & do.

The world is real, regardless of its origen. Therefore we need to respect & care for it, regardless of our faith. We need to accept its existence, regardless of our personal doubts, metaphysical ponderings, theocratic heretige. People are real. Animals are real. Thomas is certainly real, becasue he is on my left arm, which is falling asleep. (I am not sure that arm is real. I can't feel it.) The environment is real. History is real. The future is real.

The present is tangibly real.

"you can talk a great philosophy, but if you can't be kind, it doesn't mean that much to me" ~ ani ~

This is where I feel I fall short. I'm a pretty nice girl. I have a google of friends I like to galavant across the country with. Mayhaps one or two enemies. But I'm not very nice to my sister. (Rachel being the person I'd see most often, in the most close situations. I think any person's relaitionship with their siblings, pets or spouses, ie, whoever they live with, is the best indicator of their nature) I try to be, but it just never happens. There is no point of connection in thought or action between the two of us. She does some things I did, but it's always for different reasons. I collage because the details of photos are beautiful, words are meaningful, and scissors are fun to play with. Okay, maybe she likes playing with scissors too, but she has no eye for ascetics, or meaning. The most important example being our relationships with mommy & daddy. My sister is a lying brat to mommy & daddy both, & while they both seem to know, they don't know what to do.

How do you give someone morals who's already been taken by the TV?

It would be impossible to please both parents. Rachel knows this, but somehow has an amazing double life thing going. Like that's gonna last all through high school. I've done it, and even I was not a good enough actress to pull it off. Rachel is no actress.

So it's frusturating. Other people who are close to me, Elyse, Tony, Bekah, Sarah P., Rachel, Barbie, Nik, Lauren, Justin, Alex, et cetera... I manage to be kind to them. But I don't live with any of them.

All of them are, however, mature enough to get it when I say "you're wrong, this is what I think". Or, hopefully, tell when I'm being sarcastic. Rachie can't take that ever.

But I digress.  ¶ 12:42 0 comments

  Questions was the topic today.

I question myself a lot about time, the use of it, passing of it. I feel old. Two decades, baby. (almost)

I hear what my friends say & know their priorities. Rachel R. worries me sometimes, because she has no real priorities, no real goals. What's life worth living for if you don't do something? Bekah's priorities are people, but there is a real danger in tying yourself up with people. (I say this because I do it too, perhaps worse) Justin says I spend too much time worrying about people, what they think & say, especially because most of the people I know are narrow minded. This may be true.

"and when beauty asks a question, how often do you reply? how often do you wonder about life, on the other side, on the other side of sorrow, on the other side of pain, on the other side of alright, okay, and anyway..." ~ ani ~

Shifting questions worry me. Shifting answers (priorities) to the same questions worry me more.

Such is the story of history.

Tony hopes I get what I want out of college. The question here is, what do I really want out of college? Why am I in it? Passing easy answers are, to not be an economic slave forever, to not be poor in my old age. I had always resolved myself to being poor, because of growing up poor. I can't imagine having money, or what I'd do with it. College is a way to economic freedom. Or is it? I'm still going to have a job somewhere. I'll still be a fucking slave, selling my time. Just at way better rates than at Rocky's or Oakwood Villa or the Pool or the dump or lovely, lovely Kmart or Fazoli's or the hotel... so given I don't really care about the job (well I do care, I just don't look forward to it) college is also supposed to be life training. But my life training has always been best learned through books, people, & the occassional catastrophe. School sometimes being a causal for the catastrophe, but never a good explanation why. I especially hate english classes where one must analyze cause & effect. People should just know this stuff. I do. Did. yeah, sure....

Anyway, given the choices college is okay. I just find myself wanting joy. (question: how to find joy??)

Motavations & inspiration.

Speaking of Tony, and questions, he once asked, what would be better, college education or a lover or two? I'd say lover. With one important condition: that the love lasts. This is hard. Life goes on but affection doesn't. So I'd like a lover that will stay. Plus, college is something you can always go back to & attempt to finish. Relationships aren't. (then he said, given two lovers, what to do to decide which one? well, if they both really love you, then they can both really love each other or understand that you can love both of them. I'm not an idealist at all)

That's why Thomas rocks. He's always here, & no matter how miffed he gets, he'll still cry for me to take a nap with him.

Back to questions.

(Who? You. & me. What? Whatever needs to be done. Where? Here, everywhere. When? now. Why? Why not? How? However we can)

I've asked myself, what is real? Realized it doesn't really matter. What's real is what I accept to be real, which I will show through my actions.

I ask myself, what can I do? I have no idea.

I guess, after spending so much time in the realm of thought, I return to the real world. I am forever vaguely anxious about it, a slight glow on the horizon that I can't explain, impending doom. I credit it to the greed I see, pollution, cruelty. History of intolerance and bloodshed.

I feel the world needs to be changed. One of my favorite questions was posed by Derrick Jensen. "If the way we are living is not making us happy, why do we continue living this way?" He wrote an entire book of interviews on the subject. I won't even start.

Any physical change would first thought change. The memes of the our society are killing the world. Emotionally put, but true. Truer than any other truth. Truth that hurts. Answering questions ain't easy. Our memes are going to kill us. They will bring about the planets' destruction.

This is a hard truth to live with.

So I ask myself, how to start? how to *change the world*? how to care? how to get others to care? (wondering why most don't care) how to not get squashed by the powerful? how to be taken seriously? how to love? how to understand all the externalities? how to keep them internal? how to keep?

Lingering self doubt.

I think of Wendall Berry's words, "how does one become worthy to use what must be used?" I suppose this is my mission.  ¶ 11:21 0 comments

  Ay. Back from the Ani concert already. Earlier than expected.

It was wonderful.

Ani is wonderful.

Ani is beautiful.

Ani has a broken foot.

"I love you left foot."

The concert was so different because of that. She normally dances like crazy, and one could tell she crazy wanted to, but her poor foot being broken she played her first concert ever sitting down ever. Que especial. She was in fine form in the beginning, playing so many new songs & other songs... I already forgot which ones. I hate my not memory. The new songs were especially good, I really like her style now. Her new stuff two albums ago didn't really impress me much-- but it seems what she's doing now I approve of. Because that is the important part.

Mmmm, the new song about the moths was so pretty. Something like "navigating by the light of the moon, when lightbulbs came we're doomed" Umm, I'll get back to you on that one when the lyrics come out.

I love seeing Ani in concert. I know her voice so well. It's always there, in my head, I just have to think of it & I can hear it. But I don't know her mannerisms, or really how she looks ("It took me a long time to realize I have the kind of beauty that moves") & she has great bodily expression. Even sitting down, she can move. Or at least really, really try to move.

The Orpheum theatre is the best venue I've yet been it. Beautiful inside, not too decrepet, good design. We sat in the balcony, thanks to Abbey, great great decision. I went up with Barbie & Rachel & sat on the bottom of the stairs up there, so we basically had front row seats in the sky. The crowd was so calm compared to last time... and so drunk. Katie Hootman, my love, was there & silly drunk. Great to see her, but I wonder, will she remember whose addie she wrote on her arm??

The crowd, however, in general sucked. They were so freaking demanding! Ani is only one person, and she has a set agenda. And a broken foot this time around anyway. So fucking demanding. Ani was getting really annoyed with it by the end. Some ass even climbed up on the stage during the encore, Self Evident, and had to be pulled off. The hell?? Yah, get rowdy alright, but don't disturb the artist. Self Evident was so very good too. She added some lines (adversial stance), and said "king george" instead of "some asshole"'s passion play.

But "things are looking up! I have my own spittoon now!"

I also learned that at 5 foot 2 Ani is taller than her dad, Madison has some special memories for her, and that being pushed around the O'hara airport in a wheelchair is a very special way to get noticed. "only in Wisconsin..."

I wrote the word brolily on my arm and I don't remember why. Or brolity?? brility??

It was great, seeing Aimee & Brigette & Margaret. Megan appeared from nowhere at one point & delivered the crazy best hug ever. I was so happy to be there with Barbie & Rachel, two of my closest Ani freaks ever. All up close & personal... ish. Then afterwards, miss Erin "coolass" L. literally ran into us on the way to the car & we hung out with her for an hour or so. (the concert in total was rather short... two hours including opener, someone in trial, a funny bald guy with a kid. Hmm. I liked him (rock!) but it seems my collegues didn't too much) I've missed Erin so much, it was great to see her & talk & stuff. But I miss a lot of people....

On the way home, Barbie slept because she was sick tired, and Duffy & I talked to keep ourselves awake. Duffy is a great person to talk to, she's very understanding & interesting.

I like being home, with Thomas on my arm so my left hand is falling asleep.

Sable just stepped on the keyboard & wrote 5444444444444444444. Enjoy!

  ¶ 01:21 0 comments

  Yay! Barbie is here! Duffy & Sarah will be here soon, then we'll drive to Madison. To see Ani. But you already knew that.

Physics didn't suck today. It was actually wonderful.

I got my maps! We're on our way!

I'm not gonna crash daddy's car!  ¶ 12:01 0 comments

  Ani concert today.

Today I will see Ani DiFranco.

I am so excited.

But first! 3 hours of Physics!

But then I'll be on my way to Madison with Duffy & Sarah to see Ani.

I can barely wait. But there's not too much waiting left.   ¶ 07:22 0 comments

  Yum yum!
The financial aid people said sure, no prob, you'll get money! Money! says I. Yay! So it's all good now, no worries.
Even that speeding ticuit ayer ain't gonna get me down.   ¶ 12:51 0 comments

  Gotta get going. Gotta wake up Nik & Bekah. Gotta go to Eau Claire. Gotta do my physics. Gotta go to the financial aid office. Gotta go to work.

Damn.  ¶ 08:41 0 comments

  last night in my dreams:
horrible songs from junior year, the people who liked them
rich suburban kids, limited views
what justin said, what nik said, what bekah said
but I didn't know what I'd say
bills
and the impossibility of paying them
fear  ¶ 07:55 0 comments

  Duty done & debts paid

this phrase is in my mynd & I can't figure why

but that often happens

it's late, my friends are awake & I can't be....  ¶ 22:15 0 comments

  It is cold outside, but my hair is dry. I am very glad for this. I had ice in my hair this morning, so I know it is winter.

I have a headache from eating lunch with my mother.

It's all good, though. Gonna get new clothes today, gonna go to a Conservationist's club meeting, gonna go to Rice Lake to see Bekah.  ¶ 10:25 0 comments

  The purpose of life is not to be happy. The purpose of life is to matter, to be productive,
to have it make some difference that you lived at all.
Arthur H. Prince
  ¶ 11:51 0 comments

  So you want to learn Japanese? Or are you afraid?

Kitty!  ¶ 07:46 0 comments

  There is a danger in tying yourself up with the personalities of others. Sometimes I wonder, is the joy worth the risk?  ¶ 07:45 0 comments

 
Work! Stupid Archives. I'm so angry.

Sometimes you just have to stop and ask yourself, how many times do you have to shoot a raccoon in the face before it dies?

I love Amelie!   ¶ 09:36 0 comments

  A response to Bekah:

There are two Americas. There is America, inc, of the power, money, media, selfishness, all that America is known for and despised for.

Then there is the America of the people. Of the people who are awake & care, at least a little, anyway. This America is nothing to ever be ashamed of, it is something to be cherished and adored, loved. It's the source of greatness. But these Americans need to work to salvage from the wreckage of America, inc, a unified country.

No government needs to be perfect. But the flaws in ours would be easily fixed- given the money. Which is the cause of the problems. Corpus bones. Since the money isn't in the hands of those who feel the need for change, they do the next best thing. They really work for change. I think someday this will triumph. Either that or we're all screwed.

Don't be ashamed of America. Be a patriot, & be aware of what needs to be done.   ¶ 12:20 0 comments

  It's late. I'm a horrid babysitter. I wish I weren't so always. I'm gonna go sleep now. But I have to drive ms. Rachel home first....

I love Mary!  ¶ 22:07 0 comments

  The countdowns are on:

One week till Ani
One week (or so) till I know about Japan
Three weeks till Tori
Three weeks till Thanksgiving break (this means no physics lab!)

Soon enough.  ¶ 22:02 0 comments

  So I'm *babysitting* ms. Mary. It's great because it means I don't have to go home. Me going home means me killing my sister. & then I'd have to clean up the blood. (maybe I should just kill her in the downstairs bathroom, then torch the whole thing. Maximum efficiency.)

Today was so short. I did so little, but it took so long. I had Physics, then went home & did laundry (home was safe since Rachie was at school) then donated plasma, then did my crazy fun photo shoot with Mary & Rachel & Nate & Ian. It was crazy. We went to Lowes Creek park & frolicked, and took pictures. I like taking pictures. I especially like taking pictures of people. Mary takes very very good pictures, and posed for me & took my picture. I really like having my picture taken-- I think I'm beautiful. But I hate getting them developed. I'm never beautiful in photos.

Then I worked. I was maximum ineffiecient. I feel bad. Some days I don't do stuff at work. Some days there's nothing for me to do.

While I was at work, Mary & Rachel scared Nate & Ian by locking them in Mary's basement, but the boys found the grandiose TV & kept themselves entertained for hours.

Then Ian & Nate came to Rocky's to tell me about it. They also told me about Mary's crazy grandmother who'll headbutt a mirror & kill you with the glass. You can see it in her eyes, Ian says. Mary has no evidence to back this theory up. I don't believe Ian.

Now Nate & Rachel & Nik (I'm at Nate's, using his uber awesome computer) are reminiscing about lost youth. *yay* Nate & Rachel spent their childhoods watching bad 80s movies. Nik spent his childhood eating dirt. I spent my childhood reading bad kid novels and planning how to run away.

Someday, Angeline.

So I really like working at Rocky's. It's easy, and fun. I've not had that in a job before. Actually the most important thing in a job (if you don't absolutely love love it) is that the time goes by quickly. This is what makes both my current jobs acceptable. Except today time went by so slowly, at least for the first half, that it drove me crazy. I have some bizarre latent ear fungus that makes my ears ring sometimes, and it drove me crazy. Crazy.

But the second half went by oh so fast. Rock!

Tommarroww will rock. Gonna have a movie night, Sam's gonna get us movies. Yay! I like movies. (Uk. My writing??) Y tambien voy a una fiesta de Nate, en su casa, con la tema de -video games- oh, boy. Don't get me too hyperexcited.

Lame.   ¶ 21:49 0 comments

  Hmm. I'm glad knitting, assasinations & political assisinations are three distinct but equal categories.

I really wish I spoke Portuguese. That would make me awesome.

Tommorrow Sam & Rachel & I are having a movie marathon. Anyone who is cool enough to be reading my blog is invited. (That is, if you know where my house is. And aren't afraid of Thomas. He's vicious these days, I hear. I think Sable's going through puberty and Thomas just can't understand. Either that or Thomas doesn't understand anything. ) So be there around 5-6. Then we'll get down to business.

Last night I dreamed of diving elephants & floodplains & submerged elms. This actually makes sense, but I'm not gonna elaborate. Then Claudia, from the babysitter's club series, & I hung out in her room for awhile. I just realized how much my room is like how I imagined hers back in the day, or like Clarissa's from Clarissa Explains it All. That makes me really sad; that my room's not unique at all. I wondere how it excaped my notice before?

Onward & upward... to Physics. The hightlight of everyday worth living.   ¶ 07:57 0 comments

  I've read three books in the last three days. I have so many characters floating around in my head. I'm dizzy.

Monday I read After Dachau, by 'ol trusty, Daniel Quinn. I shouldn't say that too loud, though, becasue that'd be the end of him.

I should explain about that. This one time, I'm like, damn, I like Douglas Adams lots & lots. So the next week he died.

A year later I was like, damn! Barbara Grizzuti Harrison is awesome! The next week she died.

Last week, I'm like, hmmmmmm, I wonder what's up with Micheal Dorris? (author of Morning Girl) So I look him up on the net. Guess what? he's dead! The headlines are all "Academic shocks literary world with suicide Tuesday"

So what if it happened in 1997? Now that I mention it, Morning Girl was my favorite book in1997, way more than it is now.

So I'm an author-killer. Just as long as no freak accidents take out those other guys next may.... (may is the magic death month)

Anyway.

So on Tuesday I read Gathering Blue, by Lois Lowry. (notice I didn't say she's awesome, therefore she will live to finish the third book in the triology) Gathering Blue is the sequel to the crazy good The Giver, which came out in 1994 or sometime, long ago, when I actually read kid's books. Gathering Blue was way good. The ending.... made little sense though. The hole Kira dug for herself was just too big... I'm not quite sure how ms. Lowry expects to fill it in one more book. That's probably why I'm not an author.

Yesterday I read Balzac & The Little Chinese Seamstress, by some Chinese guy... I forget. It was good, really easy, an interesting story. I usually don't read novels, which is why I haven't read any actual Balzac, but that's way high on my list of priorities. To read some Balzac. They guy just seems cool, okay? But now I've at least some paraphrased Balzac....

I thought I'd try to keep this trend going, but now I'm reading Dream of a Thousand Lives, by Karen Connelly, & while I could finish it today if that's all I did, I'm gonna rock out with Sam & Rachel instead. Hopefully outside. Because it is very nice out.

Speaking of priorities.... Monday whilst I was at Borders, I saw my (witness) friend Autumn, & we talked & such. It's very interesting, my old gang o' friends there has completely disintegrated. Autumn's about the last one left. Anyway, she said her three top priorities are:
1. God.
2. Family.
3. Travel.
laughing, saying how sad! That travel should be so high!

I see nothing wrong with that. But try as I might, I cannot come up with a similar list of priorities. I don't believe in God, so obviously that's not #1. My family... I guess they're high up there. But even so...
and travel. Oh, don't I wish.

So I thought, maybe my priorities are the things I spend actual time doing. So here's my priorities:

1. Sleep.
2. Cuddle cats.
3. School.
4. Friends.
5. Complain about family.
6. Spend time with family
7. reading & collaging (this may actually be higher... some revision in the works.)

Or are priorities the things I'd try to do? Hm. I'm murky here. Anyone have a response?  ¶ 12:54 0 comments

  It is gorgeous outside. I should be there. Why am I here??

(in the computer lab, that is...)

My mother asked me today, "if someone accused you of being one of Jehovah's Witnesses, would there be enough evidence to convict?"

She knows.

The answer, obviously enough, is no. Not now. Not for a very long time. I have been such a fool.

I wish I could act fast, rashly. To not be afraid of the pain I'd cause by being decisive.

I told Nik once that I am not a caustic person. The conversation went something like this:
me: I don't wanna go to stanley, to that stupid hall, complain, complain, complain...
nik: all I ever hear out of you is how much you hate visiting your mom. Why not just not go?
me: I couldn't do that. just tell her no...
nik: I could tell her you gotta work (they wanted me to fill an extra shift at rocky's)
me: no. I'm gonna go. I'm not a caustic person.

But maybe I am. Not blatantly so, just quietly, under the surface caustic. Silently acerbic. Mutely mordant. But cruel & acidic all the same.

I'm sad. I consider myself a pretty nice person. Mostly.
  ¶ 12:34 0 comments

  You're the bee's knees Sierra! Helen Caldicott is the coolest person EVER!

I saw her last year-- sep. 12th. She was the best speaker I have ever heard. (Nader's close, though) And so correct, too-- so soon after our terrorist attacks. Wow. Wow wow wow.

Wow. People like Helen Caldicott give me hope.

" A remarkable woman, both passionate and prescient in her concerns, who was determined, quite literally, to save the world. She spoke into a vacuum at a time when we desperately needed her voice and she showed us all how to enter the social arena when we didn't think we could. Her story is a true inspiration."
- Sally Field, on HC


  ¶ 18:45 0 comments

  Corpus bones & god's dentures.... honours due upon death?  ¶ 10:43 0 comments

  I've said it before & I'll say it again:

"The price of freedom is eternal vigilance"

I still don't know who said it. I'm still searching.

Tommarroww is voting day. You know what you have to do.  ¶ 21:21 0 comments

  And now for a word from our sponsers:

"Yawn football is boring.
The new Carrie Movie sucks.
I have nothing to do.
I wish I had cable.
Once I ran for hours from a man in tight pants.
Put that in your blog and think about it!"

Thanks, Graham. I was wondering if it was you in tight pants or the guy chasing you? Because it makes a difference in my mental picture....



  ¶ 20:28 0 comments

  I care.

That, my friends, is half my problem.

I am totally irresponsible.

That, good sir, is the main problem.

After sulking for awhile, I went to Border's with the intent & purpose of starting The Holy (DQ's newest), but inevitably got distracted. I looked at one of my favorite books of all time, the Earth from Above 365 photos thingy which I will never buy, it being $30 & me being broke. Then I read After Dachau, Daniel Quinn's mystery/novel.

Jesus. What an incredible book. I want you all to go get it & read it right now. Or spend 5 hours at Border's doing such. My earache went unnoticed for much of that time. I am so happy.

Or you could use this wonderful thing called the library, which I was just informed of today by my friend Autumn W. Curiouser & curiouser.

No seriously. Go read After Dachau. Then come back & talk to me.

It's okay that I use Border's as a library.... you really didn't think I got out of there without purchasing? I found Lois Lowry's Gathering Blue, billed as the companion to The Giver. This is gonna drive me crazy. I'll have to read it tommarrow. (I still have Physics homework tonight. responsibility....) I loved The Giver. I almost don't believe it's a children's novel. I think it's the Ishmael for children. (because Ishmael is for adults? not at all! they're really similar, now that you mention it.) Maybe. But so good.

And I of course bought another travel log. A woman is nothing without her vices.

I hit all green lights on the way home & sang with Ani.

Now I'm going to walk my puppy. Because I care.... & it's an easy thing to be responsible about.
  ¶ 20:23 0 comments

  I failed the physics test. Oh well, what can I do? I feel stupid, should have studied more.

My ears hurt. (oidos, not orejas). When I was 4,5 years old I used to get these horrible earaches & just sit and cry all day. I hope it's not that again. I think maybe I'm just in a bad mood & I feel like something should hurt. If it's those earaches I'm gonna cut my ears out so they never come back. One of my earliest memories is sitting in the bathtub of the 18 side of the duplex in Chetek and crying. It's all I could do. (poor little kid).

I don't work much this week. It is very strange.   ¶ 13:59 0 comments

  Well, whatever. Apparently October didn't exist. I've always felt that way.

Today was surprisingly better than expected. I went to the hall for the much anticipated hall dedication, sang a few songs, listened to them tell me to come to meetings to nourish myself spiritually. Yah whatever. Then back to school to panic about Physics some more... I'm so scared of the test tommarrow. Then on to work to "work". Hmmm, sucked today, but I've recovered. I got off real early.

More honest ground shattering reporting tommarroww. I'm tired.   ¶ 19:54 0 comments

  My archives don't work. This is really making me mad.   ¶ 09:52 0 comments

  Tonight I work. Then I go to a movie (yay!). Then I drive to Stanley (boo). Then I sleep.

Tommarroww is the new hall dedication in Thorp. We can no longer call it Withee congregation. It's in Thorp. As of tommarrow. Whatever. I'm supposed to work at OV tommarroww... I'd much rather be doing that then going to an extra meeting. No matter how extra special it is. My mom would kill me if I didn't go. I skipped the assembly two weeks ago. Because I'm a bad person. I was at work!

I vowed to myself last year I would not attend another assembly again. So far, so good. But there have only been two since. We'll see come spring how my resolve is. I really should just move away.

Monday I have my third physics test. I'm so afraid. I don't know what my problem is in that class. I understand everything, memorize the formulas, set up the problems, then attempt to solve the problems. But they're wrong every freaking time. God stupid sig figs or cgis units or something. I don't know. Eight just equals 31.4 some days. Other days it's a variable.

Greg snored last night. It was very funny.   ¶ 09:40 0 comments

  KR was in my dreams last night. Now I have one of his damn songs in my head. For you, superman.

if I go crazy then will you still call me superman?
if I'm alive and well will you still be there holding my hand?
I'll keep you by my side with my superhuman might
kryptonite  ¶ 06:53 0 comments